


They Definitely Have A Group Chat

by So_u_like_pkmn



Series: This Is A Carmen Sandiego Chat Fic Series [1]
Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Also return of Black Sheep pranks, Among Us, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bonding, Carmen Sandiego Being a Mother Figure, Carmen Talks About Feelings, Carmen is a gamer, Carmen is extra, Cats, Chatting & Messaging, Crack trying to be serious????, Did y'all know that Carmen Sandiego is confirmed for a season 4 lol, Don't read this fic while driving, Family Fluff, Family game nights, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I have plans guys, I made a meme for this story, I would die for Whiskers, I'm trying to get over writer's block, Its a good movie tho, Kahoot night, Launch gum with homemade cannons, Loving Carmen Hours, Me Neither, Monster House Appreciation, Never forgetting that Carmen is extra, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parkour, Player is a gremlin, Red Fam plays Among Us, Remember when there was like five seconds of plot in this fic, Shadow-san knows memes now, Shadowsan buys cat sweaters sorry I don't make the rules, So I'm sorry if it's bad, Team as Family, We Love A Good Found Family, Wholesome feelings, but not really, chat fic, drive safe kids, i did the thing, kind of crack, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 13,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23203132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/So_u_like_pkmn/pseuds/So_u_like_pkmn
Summary: MamaSandiego:Who drew a meme on the caper whiteboardRedhead #1:Zack made me do itRedhead #2:I thought it was perfect for the situationHackerVoice:He isn't wrongMamaSandiego:No memes on the caper board
Relationships: Carmen Sandiego | Black Sheep & Player & Ivy & Zack, Carmen Sandiego | Black Sheep & Zack, Ivy & Carmen Sandiego | Black Sheep, Ivy & Zack (Carmen Sandiego), Player & Carmen Sandiego | Black Sheep
Series: This Is A Carmen Sandiego Chat Fic Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1669972
Comments: 328
Kudos: 652





	1. Carmen is Mom Sorry I Don't Make The Rules

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Flashdrive](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23018971) by [MagicPencil2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicPencil2/pseuds/MagicPencil2). 



> Instead of updating my MLB Chat Fic I decided to make a Carmen Sandiego one...
> 
> Welp, hope y'all enjoy.

**_[Ivy invited Zack, Player, and two other people into chat]_ **

**_[Ivy renamed the chat_ ** _ The Red Team _ **_]_ **

**Carmen:** Why’d you make a group chat? We literally live together.

**Ivy:** Player doesn’t live with us!

**Zack:** Come on Carm! It’ll be fun!

**Carmen:** I don’t know…

**Player:** I love it! Think of all the memes I can send

**Carmen:** ...Fine

**Ivy:** !!!!! Thanks Mom!

**Zack:** Thanks Mom!

**Player:** Thanks Red!

**_[Player renamed Carmen to_ ** _ MamaSandiego _ **_]_ **

**_[Player renamed Ivy to_ ** _ Redhead #1 _ **_]_ **

**_[Player renamed Zack to_ ** _ Redhead #2 _ **_]_ **

**_[Player renamed himself to_ ** _ HackerVoice _ **_]_ **

**MamaSandiego:** Why am I the mom

**Redhead #1:** You literally adopted all of us

**Redhead #2:** You take care of all of us

**HackerVoice:** You mom us 

**MamaSandiego:** *sigh*

**MamaSandiego:** I guess I’ll accept my role as mom

**MamaSandiego:** You all better behave or no dessert after dinner tonight ❤️

**Redhead #2:** *le gasp* can we have cheesecake?????

**MamaSandiego:** Sure

**Redhead #1:** Yay! Thanks Mom!

**Redhead #2:** Yeah thanks mom!

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Red look what I built on Minecraft

**MamaSandiego:** Hold on let me log on and look

**Redhead #1:** Wait 

**Redhead #1:** Hold on

**Redhead #1:** Carmen plays Minecraft??????

**MamaSandiego:** Yeah?? 

**MamaSandiego:** I play all kinds of games

**Redhead #2:** Carm Is A Gamer?!?!

**MamaSandiego:** Player is my best friend, what did you expect 

**HackerVoice:** I made sure Red became a gamer

**HackerVoice:** Especially after she escaped VILE

**MamaSandiego:** It’s a good way to waste time while traveling

**HackerVoice:** Her favorite is Skyrim

**MamaSandigeo:** Yessssssss

**Redhead #2:** Sorry my brain is still exploding over Carmen being a gamer

**Redhead #1:** I didn’t expect that

**HackerVoice:[The More You Know](https://www.google.com/search?q=the+more+you+know+meme&rlz=1CAEAQE_enUS829&sxsrf=ALeKk02wyCG_heNERMV4eRqcDumkwQNSCg:1584559878124&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=MC_npGuxO-KG2M%253A%252C2OWTWy7mIShFcM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kQIfdE_B78hk9qBSy-4LF1cn9AFkQ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj8rqTF4aToAhUBIDQIHQchAcAQ9QEwAnoECAkQHg#imgrc=MC_npGuxO-KG2M:)**

**Redhead #2:** We should start having family game nights

**Redhead #2:** But online

**Redhead #2:** So Player can play too

**HackerVoice:** Uno Online 

**HackerVoice:** Red can cheat at irl card games

**MamaSandiego:** Counting cards is not cheating

**MamaSandiego:** It’s literally how you play

**HackerVoice:** Tell that to that one casino in Vegas

**MamaSandiego:** They never caught me tho >:)

**MamaSandiego:** We has a whole class on cheating at any card game in VILE

**MamaSandiego:** It was always funny for my teammates and I to play and we all would cheat

**MamaSandeigo:** Gray was always like “okay guys, I know all of us are cheating” and we would deny it and try to blame each other

**MamaSandiego:** Gray would interrupt by saying “Look, I know all of us are cheating cause there is no way all of us have four aces.” 

**Redhead #1:** Teach me your ways

**MamaSandiego:** Idk it’s not really something I want you getting in trouble for…

**Redhead #1:** I won’t get into trouble if I do get caught

**Redhead #2:** Big Brain Time

**MamaSandiego:** hmmm I’ll think about it

**HackerVoice:** That’s such a mom answer

**Redhead #1:** Hey mom do you have anymore stories from your time in VILE?

**Redhead #1:** I wanna hear about the chaotic antics Player talks about

**Redhead #2:** Yess I wanna hear about Lil’ Carm!

**MamaSandiego:** Well that’s a lot to unpack…

**MamaSandiego:** I know Shadowsan brought a hard drive with the closest thing of VILE home videos and anything that isn’t on there I can just tell you about

**Redhead #2:** MOVIE NIGHT

**Redhead #2:** ILL GET THE POPCORN

**Redhead #1:** ILL SET UP THE TV

**MamaSandiego:** I’ll get Shadowsan?????

  
**HackerVoice:** I need to get my ramen


	2. They Have A Cat Now

**Redhead #2:** Mom what’s for dinner tonight

**MamaSandiego:** I’m making spaghetti

**Redhead #1:** With meat sauce?

**MamaSandiego:** With meat sauce

**Redhead #1:** Best Mom In The World

**MamaSandiego:** I try

**HackerVoice:** It’s times like this I wish transporters we’re science fiction so I can have your food again

**Redhead #1:** Rip u Player

**HackerVoice:** Imma destroy you in Monopoly tonight 

**Redhead #1:** B e t I’m going to smoke you

**MamaSandiego:** Children there’s no need to fight

**MamaSandiego:** Because I’m going to destroy all of you

**HackerVoice:** FIGHT ME RED

**Redhead #1:** MEET ME IN THE PIT MOM

* * *

**Redhead #2:** I still can’t believe Shadowsan obliterated you guys at Monopoly

**Redhead #1:** No need to rub it in bro

**Redhead #1:** Player is still taking a moment to mourn his defeat

**MamaSandiego:** I’m trying to console him but he’s taking it hard

**HackerVoice:** JUST LET ME CRY IN PEACE

**MamaSandiego:** Player, you can get him at Uno tomorrow

**HackerVoice:** …

**HackerVoice:** You always know how to to cheer me up Red

**MamaSandiego:** :)

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Are you sure Red

**MamaSandiego:** I’m fine

**HackerVoice:** It sounded like Tigress got some good hits in…

**Redhead #1:** Carm…

**MamaSandiego:** I’m fine

**Redhead #2:** Um there’s blood 

**MamaSandiego:** …

**MamaSandiego:** I’m not completely fine…

**Redhead #1:** I’ll get the kit

**MamaSandiego:** It looks worse than it actually is

**Redhead #1:** She won’t need stitches 

**Redhead #1:** Carm clocked out while I was patching her up tonight took a lot out of her

**Redhead #2:** She was awake last night when I went for a midnight snack

**HackerVoice:** She hasn’t been sleeping well 

**HackerVoice:** Only gets a few hours before waking up 

**Redhead #1:** Is there anyway we can help?

**HackerVoice:** I think all we can do is be there for her

**Redhead #2:** Well we can definitely do that

**Redhead #1:** We are going to be there for our mom

* * *

**MamaSandiego:** Zack, Ivy

**MamaSandiego:** Why is there a cat currently asleep on me

**Redhead #1:** Oh that’s just Whiskers

**Redhead #2:** Shes a stray that likes to hang around

**MamaSandiego:** Yeah but how did she get into my room???? My door is closed and so are my windows

**Redhead #2:** She just appears where ever

**MamaSandiego:** She’s purring

**MamaSandiego:** ...I guess we can keep her, but we have to take her to a vet to make sure she doesn’t have anything

**Redhead #2:** YES!

**Redhead #1:** THANK YOU MOM

**MamaSandiego:** You two will have to go out and get her stuff

**MamaSandiego:** I would go with but I’m currently...trapped

**HackerVoice:** Send a picture of the new family member

**MamaSandiego:** *picture sent*

**HackerVoice:** I would die for Whiskers

**MamaSandiego:** No one is dying

**MamaSandiego:** No death allowed 

**Redhead #2:** Okay Mom

**Redhead #1:** If you say so Mom

**HackerVoice:** You can’t stop me

**MamaSandiego:** I would be very sad if you died

**HackerVoice:** ...fine

**MamaSandiego:** :)

* * *

**Redhead #1:** *picture of Carmen sitting on the couch on her laptop as Whiskers loafs on the couch arm next to her, her eyes closed in content*

**Redhead #1:** You’re Whiskers’ favorite Carm

**MamaSandiego:** She wouldn’t let me get up and has been following me all day

**HackerVoice:** Some science articles say that cat purrs promote healing and improve bone density 

**HackerVoice:** Maybe she knows you’re hurt and is trying to help

**Redhead #2:** Whiskers is Best Cat

**Redhead #1:** I stan Whiskers

**MamaSandiego:** She’s watching me play Skyrim now

**Redhead #1:** Bby

**HackerVoice:** We have a cat child now

**Redhead #2:** Welp, I’m ok with that

**Redhead #1:** Me too

**Shadowsan:** I agree as well

**Shadowsan:** Black Sheep why are your two colleagues screaming


	3. Someone Please Draw This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short, but I'm posting another one tomorrow so hopefully that makes up for it.
> 
> Also someone please draw Carmen and Whiskers cause I love them.

**Redhead #1:** *Picture of Carmen taking a nap on the couch with Whiskers asleep on her chest*

**Redhead #1:** I’ve been blessed with Mom sleeping and Whiskers cuddling her

**Redhead #2:** I gotta see this for myself

**Redhead #1:** Make sure not to wake her

**HackerVoice:** Yeah, Red needs to sleep

**Redhead #2:** It really is a blessed scene

**Redhead #1:** This is my screensaver now

**HackerVoice:** I’m making this Carmen’s screensaver

* * *

**MamaSandiego:** I leave you all unsupervised for thirty minutes and this is what happens

**Redhead #1:** Your nap was actually an hour

**HackerVoice:** Your nap was so deep you lost track of time

**Redhead #2:** I think Shadowsan was actually concerned

**MamaSandiego:** I guess I’ve been sleeping better since Whiskers

**MamaSandiego:** I go to sleep by myself and wake up with her cuddling me and purring

**HackerVoice:** She really seems to like you

**Redhead #2:** She ignores Shadowsan, begs me for food, and likes to sleep on Ivy’s blueprints

**Redhead #1:** She’s perfect

**Redhead #2:** What kind of cat is she anyway?

**HackerVoice:** Calico

**MamaSandiego:** 99.9% of calicos are female

**HackerVoice:** Because of the DNA involved with their unique fur 

**Redhead #1:** NERDS

**MamaSandiego:** Ivy you built all my gadgets and an entire car

**Redhead #2:** NERDS

**Redhead #1:** Zack can literally memorize entire maps and figure out all the shortcuts after a minute, the greatest getaway drive we’ve ever known, and can lie as good as Carmen

**MamaSandiego:** We are all nerds

**Redhead #2:** Do crime, be nerds

  
**Redhead #1:** Damn right!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So everyone's canon(??) ages are on the Carmen Sandiego (2019) wiki character pages. And I'm very happy that I was right/close on them.
> 
> But fricken' I'm like mildly upset that Carmen is 20 and not 21.
> 
> ANOTHER BUT with fanfiction I can do whatever I want so expect Drinking Age Carmen jokes later cause in this she is 21.
> 
> Here are the Canon Ages that I found on the Character's Wiki:
> 
> Carmen-20  
> Player-16 (Also his birthday is May 6th, this might be important later)  
> Zack-18  
> Ivy-19  
> Shadowsan-40+
> 
> I trust the Fandom Wiki cause they don't mess around on this stuff my dudes, I respect that
> 
> All of these are the same in this fic except Carmen's...as stated before lol


	4. Buzzfeed Unsolved Cause Goatman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun writing this chapter and you'll see why ;)

**Redhead #2:** Hey do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth

**MamaSandiego:** You’re a hazard to society

**Redhead #1:** And a coward do 20

**Redhead #2:** B e t

* * *

**Redhead #2:** *picture*

**HackerVoice:** Holycrap he did it

**Redhead #1:** LOOK AT YOU BRO

**MamaSandiego:** Please don’t hurt yourself

**MamaSandiego:** But good job Zack!

**Redhead #2:** I just slowly ate all of them

**Redhead #1:** Shadowsan walked in, saw what you were doing, and walked right back out

**MamaSandiego:** You guys are traumatizing that poor man

**HackerVoice:** Does he talk to you about it

**MamaSandiego:** Naw I just know

**Shadowsan:** Sometimes we sit down over tea and gossip

**Redhead #1:** I cant believe Shadowsan came out of lurking to expose you mom

**MamaSandiego:** Betrayed by my own parental unit

**HackerVoice:** Red you use to gossip with me

**HackerVoice:** Are you gossip cheating on me :’(

**MamaSandiego:** I don’t think I’ll like where this is going

**MamaSandiego:** No Player I’m not gossip cheating on you, because you can’t gossip cheat on someone

**Redhead #1:** This is getting chaotic

**Redhead #2:** What do you guys even gossip about

**HackerVoice:** VILE, ACME, Inspector Devineaux and other stuff

**MamaSandiego:** Player likes to laugh at the people that show interest in me

**HackerVoice:** It’s always funny to hear them flirt with you

**Redhead #2:** Ivy and I laugh at that too

**Redhead #1:** When we see them at least

**MamaSandiego:** He mostly shows me movies and cartoons and stuff like that

**HackerVoice:** I introduced her to Buzzfeed Unsolved

**HackerVoice:** Cause she asked why I always laugh when fighting Le Chevre

**MamaSandiego:** You kept yelling “Fuck you Goatman” and stuff about bridges?????? In my ear

**Redhead #1:** Yo I love Buzzfeed Unsolved

**Redhead #2:** We watch it whenever a new episode comes out

**Redhead #1:** Zack, we have to pull a Player and yell “Fuck you Goatman” at Le Chevre when we see him again

**MamaSandiego:** You aren’t doing that

**Redhead #2:** But Moooooooooooooooooooom

**MamaSandiego:** No

**Redhead #1:** Fiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnneeee

* * *

**Redhead #1:** Carm

**MamaSandiego:** Yes?

**Redhead #1:** *picture of Whiskers wearing a cat sweater*

**Redhead #1:** Why?

**MamaSandiego:** I actually didn’t do that???? 

**Redhead #1:** Wait then who did

**Redhead #1:** @Redhead #2 Zack??

**Redhead #2:** Wasn’t me

**Shadowsan:** It was me. I thought Whiskers would like to wear something nice

**Redhead #1:** ...it does compliment her eyes really well

**Redhead #2:** She likes it lol

**MamaSandiego:** She’s strutting around my room and showing it off

**HackerVoice:** She realized I was on the computer and sat in front of it 

**Redhead #1:** What kind of personality is this cat

**Redhead #2:** The perfect one for us

**MamaSandiego:** Is Whiskers our fur child?

**HackerVoice:** I’m sending you guys so many cat treats for her

**MamaSandiego:** I can train her to do tricks lol

**Redhead #1:** PLEASE

**Redhead #2:** Can you teach her to jump like through hoops?????

**MamaSandiego:** Sure

**Redhead #2:** Yesssss we have the best cat ever

**HackerVoice:** Can confirm 

**HackerVoice:** Next we get a dog

**MamaSandiego:** I think we travel too much for a dog

**Redhead #1:** I know you’re right but I hate it

**MamaSandiego:** Valid

* * *

**Redhead #2:** YOU BETRAYED ME

**Redhead #1:** IT WAS TO GET AHEAD AND WIN

**Redhead #2:** IS THERE NO SUCH THING AS LOYALTY????? 

**Redhead #2:** IM YOUR BROTHER

**Redhead #1:** OH MY GOD ZACK

**Redhead #1:** ITS JUST UNO

**Redhead #2:** A +4 IVY

**Redhead #2:** ZYOU HIT ME WITH A +4

**MamaSandiego:** I think we’re gonna have to ban Uno…

**HackerVoice:** At least I beat Shadowsan this time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually typed most of this on my phone so any angry typos of my thumb brushing a key I kept cause I felt it added to the moment.
> 
> I can confirm it happens because last night I was texting my friends about the mosquito hawk that scared me in the shower and just...my writer brain was disappointed...but I also didn't have my glasses on.


	5. Yeet The Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I'm suppose to get word on how the rest of the school year is going to work so I'm anxiety posting .-.

**HackerVoice:** How’s London?

**MamaSandiego:** Besides the caper

**MamaSandiego:** Zack and Ivy keep on doing Revolutionary War jokes

**Redhead #2:** This tea is so bad they should just throw it in a harbor

**Redhead #1:** Yeet the tea

**Redhead #2:** We hear you laughing mom

**MamaSandiego:** Yeet the tea got me

**Redhead #1:** Y E E T T H E T E A

**Redhead #2:** We finally got Carmen to snort and laugh in public

**HackerVoice:** Truly an accomplishment

**MamaSandiego:** Stop people are giving me weird looks

**Redhead #1:** We’ll consider it

**MamaSandiego:** You can make me laugh after we stop VILE

**Redhead #2:** Deal

* * *

**Redhead #2:** Ya’know

**Redhead #2:** A lot of people ask WHERE is Carmen Sandiego and WHO is Carmen Sandiego

**Redhead #2:** But no one asks HOW is Carmen Sandiego

**Redhead #1:** You are absolutely right bro

**Redhead #1:** How are you doing Carm??

**MamaSandiego:** ???? I’m fine?????

**HackerVoice:** They do have a point

**MamaSandiego:** I have mixed feelings about this discussion

**Redhead #2:** Shhhhhhhhhhh Carm let us care about you

**MamaSandiego:** Whiskers is slowly purring me to sleep I feel all the love

**HackerVoice:** As trained, perfect

**MamaSandiego:** I’m too tired to be suspicious of that

**Redhead #1:** Sleep 

**Redhead #2:** Sleeeeeeeeeeeep

**HackerVoice:** She’s actually asleep now

**HackerVoice:** She left me on video chat

**Redhead #1:** Now all we have to do is let her sleep for eight hours

**Redhead #2:** Whiskers is on the job

**Redhead #1:** Our Mom is in the best hands

**Redhand #2:** Wouldnt it be paws?????

* * *

**MamaSandiego:** Hey Ivy, I need you to look over my grappling hook

**MamaSandiego:** I think Tigress slashed her trying to stop me from escaping

**Redhead #1:** *gasps in Boston* 

**Redhead #1:** How dare she, Im omw

**MamaSandiego:** Thanks Ives, I’ll make sure Tigress gets her due justice for hurting her

**Redhead #2:** “You always know how to make me feel better Mom” -Ivy

**MamaSandiego:** I try <3

**Redhead #1:** <3

**Redhead #1:** Red Hook is fine, just a scratch on the paint job

**MamaSandiego:** I’m glad Red Hook is okay

**HackerVoice:** I thought we were going to have to avenge her for a moment

**Redhead #2:** Tigress wont get away with this injustice

**MamaSandiego:** I’ll make sure of it >:^)

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Red was I hearing everything correctly

**MamaSandiego:** Depends

**HackerVoice:** Did you throw a paint bomb at Tigress

**MamaSandiego:** Mayhaps

**Redhead #1:** IT WAS GREAT

**Redhead #2:** EL TOPO AND LE CHEVRE WERE TRYING VERY HARD NOT TO LAUGH BUT FAILED

**Redhead #1:** Tigress was NOT happy

**Redhead #2:** She tried to kill Carm

**MamaSandiego:** Eh, I’m use to it

**HackerVoice:** As a beloved friend, I don’t like those words being used in that context 

**HackerVoice:** But also being someone who you talked to about pre-Tigress, I’m not surprised because it’s Tigress

**MamaSandiego:** Yeah I didn’t prank her much in school ‘cause she would try and kill me over it

**MamaSandiego:** When she wasn’t being a complete  _ puta  _ Sheena had a bit of a soft side

**Redhead #1:** Pics or it didnt happen

**Redhead #2:** We are gonna need to see the receipts

**MamaSandiego:** Lmao as impossible as it seems, I speak the truth

**Redhead #2:** Do you ever miss those days? Where you were just in school with your friends?

**Redhead #1:** Z A C K

**MamaSandiego:** It’s okay

**MamaSandiego:** I do miss it a lot. I know what good people my old friends could be

**MamaSandiego:** But I made my choice and they made theirs, there is nothing I can do to change that

**MamaSandiego:** Besides, I’m happy with the family I have now

**Redhead #2:** Awww, we love you too Carm

**Redhead #1:** You genuinely love and appreciate us and deal with all our crazy antics and we love you for it

**HackerVoice:** You’re my best friend and you appreciate my talents and even though we are separated by like thousands of miles I’ve never felt left out and you worry about me even though I’m just in my cave

**MamaSandiego:** Guys stop I might actually start crying

**Redhead #1:** You already are you cant hide in Whisker’s fur

**Redhead #2:** GROUP HUG PLAYER VIDEO CHAT ON THE PHONE RN SO YOU CAN BE APART OF IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I like wholesome feelings up in here so expect more
> 
> Also I feel like a genius for "Yeet the tea" because I laughed every time I typed it.


	6. Take A Nap To Summon Whiskers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is after To Steal Or Not Steal, cause I wanted to touch on how freakin' EXTRA Carmen is. I mean the entire show gives us reasons on how extra she is, in every episode. 
> 
> Carmen is extra and I love her.

**(After To Steal Or Not To Steal)**

**HackerVoice:** Red roses

**HackerVoice:** Really

**MamaSandiego:** Idk what you are talking about Player

**HackerVoice:** Bull 

**HackerVoice:** You know exactly what I’m talking about u extra trash can

**MamaSandiego:** L I s t e n

**Redhead #1:** What is happening

**HackerVoice:** When Red returned the stuff she stole from VILE to Agent Argent

**HackerVoice:** She included a thing of red roses

**MamaSandiego:** It was a calling card

**Redhead #1:** Idk Mom that’s pretty gay

**Redhead #2:** Are we getting another Mom

**MamaSandiego:** Hey Zack, Ivy I want to hear that song you guys made while kidnapped by VILE, I didn’t hear all of it

**Redhead #2:** OMW 

**Redhead #1:** HOLD ON LET ME GET THE BACKGROUND MUSIC WE MADE TO GO WITH IT

**HackerVoice:** This isn’t over Red

* * *

**MamaSandiego:** Anyone know where Whiskers is?

**HackerVoice:** Take a nap and she’ll show up

**MamaSandiego:** Haha, no, she’s getting a check up today

**Shadowsan:** *picture of Whiskers sprawled on top of his laptop keyboard*

**Shadowsan:** Black Sheep your cat is prohibiting my work

**MamaSandiego:** Oh, sorry, I’ll come get her

**Redhead #1:** She likes the warmth of the machine

**Redhead #2:** That, or she likes demanding our attention when we’re working

**HackerVoice:** That’s just a cat thing

**MamaSandiego:** I’m about to drive so I won’t answer

**Redhead #2:** Thank you for practicing safe driving mom

**Redhead #1:** Look at our mom, practicing safe driving. So proud

**MamaSandiego:** Dorks

* * *

**Redhead #2:** Guys, I made a meme

**Redhead #2:** Player: Can I say a bad word? Can I sAY A BAD WORD?!

Carmen: Yes

Player @ Coach Brunt after she almost killed Carmen: YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH

**HackerVoice:** I mean...yeah

**Redhead #1:** PFT I LOVE IT

**MamaSandiego:** Thanks for making me laugh in the waiting room

**Redhead #2:** You’re welcome mom

**HackerVoice:** I would willingly throw hands @ VILE and ACME because no one messes with my best friend

**Redhead #1:** @VILE turn on your location I Just Wanna Talk

**Redhead #2:** What do you mean that looks like a dead body officer? Idk what you’re talking about it’s just my very large gym bag...s

**MamaSandiego:** I love you guys

**MamaSandiego:** What did I ever do to deserve all of you?

**Redhead #1:** Be yourself

**HackerVoice:** Be awesome

**Redhead #2:** You literally deserve love

**MamaSandiego:** Stop I’m not crying in the waiting room of a vet clinic

**MamaSandiego:** I refuse

**Redhead #1:** REVERSE UNO CARD WE REFUSE YOUR REFUSAL

**Redhead #1:** WE LOVE YOU

**HackerVoice:** YEAH

**Redhead #2:** TRIPLE THAT

**MamaSandiego:** Oh look they’re calling us in bYE

**HackerVoice:** YOU CAN’T ESCAPE OUR LOVE AND AFFECTION THAT EASILY

* * *

**MamaSandiego:** Whiskers is happy and healthy and trying to climb into my lap in the car

**MamaSandiego:** No stop WHiskers that’s illegal

**HackerVoice:** Everytime you meme I feel so proud

**HackerVoice:** *wipes away tear* I’ve taught you well

**Redhead #2:** Our Mom is growing into a great memer

**Redhead #1:** Soon she’ll be making shitposts

**Redhead #2:** I’ll take over that lesson

**Redhead #2:** Im great at shitposts

**Redhead #1:** Can confirm 

**Redhead #1:** He also had a decently popular vine account before vine died

**HackerVoice:** What a legend

**Redhead #1:** I know I’m so proud

**Redhead #2:** Sis you’re embarrassing me

**Redhead #1:** Let me show off your accomplishments I love you

**Redhead #2:** Noooooooo Player could prob find them and I’m Terrified Of That

**HackerVoice:** Uhhh

**HackerVoice:** About that

**Redhead #2:** HECKIN’

**HackerVoice:** I’ll send the link to Carmen and then forget I found them

**Redhead #2:** That’s a lie

**HackerVoice:** Yep

**Redhead #2:** Heathen

**Redhead #1:** I think Gremlin is more correct

**Redhead #1:** Think about it

**Redhead #1:** Lives in dark cave, rarely sleeps, probably sneaks into the kitchen late at night to eat cold chicken, chugs energy drinks that Carmen could prob use to blow up something, drinks coffee like it’s water

**HackerVoice:** 1\. I don’t like this callout post

**HackerVoice:** 2\. Screw you cold chicken is actually pretty good

**Redhead #2:** Gremlin

**HackerVoice:** N o

**HackerVoice:** Red back me up

**MamaSandiego:** Driving. Will back up later

**HackerVoice:** Dammit

**Redhead #1:** Perish

**MamaSandiego:** Back home

**MamaSandiego:** Stop bullying Player or you are both grounded

**Redhead #2:** Fine mom

**Redhead #1:** Okay mom

  
**HackerVoice:** HA thanks mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's Loving Carmen hours and Carmen Loving her Family Hours.
> 
> I saw a thing somewhere about Zack having a vine account, I don't remember where but whoever did gets credit. Also the energy drink thing was referencing the time I looked up how explosive energy drinks are and prob for on a watchlist .-. Result; they aren't explosive, but they prob are flame able...I'm def on a watchlist
> 
> My best friend says she likes cold chicken and I was like "??????????" and called her a gremlin, I'm the one that drinks coffee like it's water.


	7. Sorry Only Good Vibes Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi online school started and I'm dying.
> 
> Enjoy!

**MamaSandiego:** I have to run out and do a few errands

**MamaSandiego:** Zack, Ivy, don’t burn down the base. Player, you’re in charge

**Redhead #1:** HES A CHILD AND WE ARE ADULTS

**MamaSandiego:** You’re right

**MamaSandiego:** Whiskers is in charge 

**Redhead #2:** I should be offended but I think we should follow Whiskers’ example and take a nap on Carmen's bed

**Redhead #1:** You know what, I second that

**MamaSandiego:** Go ahead, as long as I come back and everyone has every limb attached

**HackerVoice:** I love your priorities

**MamaSandiego:** :P Do you guys want anything from the store

**Redhead #1:** Gushers, Goldfish, Redbull, and Blue corn chips

**Redhead #2:** Fruit Roll Ups, Poptarts, Bang energy drinks, and those chips you can put on your fingers to make claws

**HackerVoice:** My mental stability

**MamaSandiego:** Ivy, you be careful with those Redbulls, don’t drink them at night

**MamaSandiego:** Zack, what flavor

**MamaSandiego:** Player, I don’t think Fry’s sells that but I’ll send you a package of something close

**HackerVoice:** Thanks mom

**MamaSandiego:** Np I’m driving now so shhhh

* * *

**Redhead #2:** Guys I made another meme

**Redhead #2:** Player: Don’t fuck with me I have the power of Carmen Sandiego and the internet on my side AAAAAAAAAA

**HackerVoice:** Accurate 

**Redhead #1:** Please keep making more memes like this because I love all of them

**HackerVoice:** I’m going to make a whole folder of them

**HackerVoice:** Actually Imma make those vine compilation videos and add on everytime you make a meme

**HackerVoice:** Or make the meme

**Redhead #2:** Please I would love you forever

**HackerVoice:** It’s happening anyway

**HackerVoice:** School classes are boring once you know everything

**MamaSandiego:** Relatable

**HackerVoice:** You went to crime school I don’t think you should be feeling proud of knowing everything about CRIME SCHOOL

**MamaSandiego:** Hey I had to do something once my nannies stopped coming

**MamaSandiego:** So spying on the lessons and teaching myself was a good way to burn time

**Redhead #1:** Is that why it took you like one demonstration to learn to use all of your gadgets???

**MamaSandiego:** I learn quickly lol

**MamaSandiego:** *picture* Zack which one do you want

**Redhead #1:** Rainbow Unicorn and Black Cherry Vanilla

**MamaSandiego:** k

**MamaSandiego:** Player stop whispering for me to buy the instant Miso soup

**MamaSandiego:** Shadowsan would disown me if I did that

* * *

**HackerVoice:** *picture of small red box*

**HackerVoice:** What’s in the box Red

**MamaSandiego:** Open it and find out

**Redhead #1:** Whats in the box

**Redhead #2:** Böx

**HackerVoice:** Red I love it

**HackerVoice:** *picture of a picture frame with a selfie of Zack, Ivy, and Carmen with Whiskers nuzzled under her chin*

**MamaSandiego:** I wanted you to have a picture of all of us :)

**HackerVoice:** I’m not crying you are

**Redhead #2:** It’s ok to cry I know I do

**Redhead #1:** Yeah this morning he cried over Whiskers licking his eyebrow

**Redhead #2:** IT WAS SCUH A WHOLESOME MOMENT SHHH

**HackerVoice:** It’s on my desk next to my monitors now

**MamaSandiego:** <3

**HackerVoice:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates might slow down cause of school, but Imma do my best.


	8. Launch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I will dare to venture out and get a free donut from Dunkin'
> 
> I may not make it back alive, wish me luck my dudes.

**Redhead #1:** Guys I feel like we’ve had these usernames for too long

**HackerVoice:** I’ve only had this username for a few months but if anything were to happen to it I would kill everyone in this group chat and then myself

**Redhead #1:** Imma change everyone’s nicknames except Player’s

**MamaSandiego:** Okay Ivy

**Redhead #2:** k

**_[Redhead #1 changed Redhead #2 username to_ ** _ VroomVroom _ **_]_ **

**_[Redhead #1 changed MamaSandiego username to_ ** _ InsertMomJoke _ **_]_ **

**_[Redhead #1 changed their username to_ ** _ Vine _ **_]_ **

**VroomVroom:** I love it

**InsertMomJoke:** I love it Ivy thank you

**Vine:** Thank you I thought of them last night

**HackerVoice:** They’re all great

**VroomVroom:** Guys, I made another meme

**VroomVroom:** Player @ the Chief after Carmen almost dies: When will you learn? When will you learn?! ThAt YoUr AcTiOnS hAvE cOnSeQuEnCeS

**HackerVoice:** Why are all these so accurate

**Vine:** Why are all the subjects of your memes Player

**VroomVroom:** Cause Player is a meme

**HackerVoice:** You know what-

**HackerVoice:** U right

**InsertMomJoke:** Hate to break up this conversation

**InsertMomJoke:** But Zack, Ivy we gotta go if we want to get to our flight on time

**VroomVroom:** OH RIGHT

**Vine:** SHIT

* * *

**Vine:** The utter bETRAYAL 

**VroomVroom:** MOM 

**InsertMomJoke:** You guys have been gone for 30 minutes

**VroomVroom:** As you know, us and Shadowsan were driving to the store

**VroomVroom:** On the way back we saw a McDonalds and we asked Shadowsan if we could stop

**Shadowsan:** You two chanted “McDonalds” very loudly

**Vine:** Besides the point

**Vine:** Shadowsan pulls in through the drive thru

**Vine:** Orders oNE BLACK COFFEE

**Vine:** AND DRIVES AWAY

**HackerVoice:** Are...are you guys tattling on Shaodwsan?

**VroomVroom:** Y E S

**VroomVroom:** Carm? Are you there?

**HackerVoice:** I turned on our comms and all I hear is her laughing

**Vine:** ALL THE BETRAYAL TODAY

**InsertMomJoke:** Im sorry but

**InsertMomJoke:** It’s fucking hilarious

**VroomVroom:** M O M

**Vine:** wATCH YOU PROFANITY

**Vine:** There are young ears here

**Vine:** I’m sorry you had to hear Mom say fuck Zack

**VroomVroom:** Yeah mom, how dare

**HackerVoice:** Im wheezing this is chaotic

**HackerVoice:** Red remember to breath

**InsertMomJoke:** I’m trying

**InsertMomJoke:** Whiskers left because I was laughing too loudly

**Vine:** Take a nap and she’ll come back

**VroomVroom:** Is it just a joke that every time we can’t find Whiskers we just tell Carm to take a nap to summon her

**HackerVoice:** Yes

**Vine:** Yes

**InsertMomJoke:** Apparently

**VroomVroom:** K

* * *

**Vine:** *picture of Carmen taking a nap on the couch with Whiskers cuddling her*

**Vine:** It works

* * *

**Vine:** Carm is your hand ok?

**InsertMomJoke:** It’s fine, just a sprained wrist

**VroomVroom:** Did you land on it wrong in the fight during the caper

**InsertMomJoke:** Yeah but it’s fine, it’ll be completely healed in a few days to a week

**Vine:** Especially with theHealing Cat Purrs

**VroomVroom:** Bless

**InsertMomJoke:** She’s laying on my hand help

**HackerVoice:** No

**InsertMomJoke:** Fine

**VroomVroom:** Imma run by the gas station does anyone want anything?

**Vine:** Gum

**InsertMomJoke:** Gum

**HackerVoice:** Gum

**Shadowsan:** Gum

**VroomVroom:** K

**VroomVroom:** Wait a minute!

**VroomVroom:** What flavors do you guys want

**InsertMomJoke:** Wintergreen

**Vine:** Bubblegum

**Shadowsan:** Spearmint

**HackerVoice:** Tropical Fruit

**VroomVroom:** K

**VroomVroom:** Player do you want that express mail or for me to YEET it into Canada

**VroomVroom:** Cause I think I can do it

**HackerVoice:** Express mail lmao

**Vine:** I can make a catapult to YEET it to you

**InsertMomJoke:** Imagine the power and aim you’d have to install into it

**Vine:** Player send your coordinates

**InsertMomJoke:** I want to see where this goes

**HackerVoice:** So do I

**Vine:** It’s going to be less of a catapult and more of a cannon

**Vine:** So we are going to launch it towards you

**HackerVoice:** I love this idea

**InsertMomJoke:** If you need help just ask

* * *

**Vine:** OKay so

**Vine:** I made the cannon, but in order to shoot it we would have to be as close as we can to Ontario (at least on the US side) and like have really good aim

**InsertMomJoke:** So we have to go to New York?

**Vine:** Yes

**VroomVroom:** Can I aim????

**Vine:** Sure

**HackerVoice:** Is this going to end with gum breaking through a window in my room?

**Vine:** Possibly

**HackerVoice:** K

**InsertMomJoke:** I’ll start packing

**HackerVoice:** I’ll get you guys a plane

**VroomVroom:** YEAH TRIP TO LAUNCH GUM THROUGH PLAYER’S WINDOW

**Shadowsan:** Are you all truly going to New York to use a cannon made in a week to merely send gum to Player?

**Vine:** Yes

**Shadowsan:** Very well

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** *picture of Zack and Ivy setting up the cannon*

**InsertMomJoke:** Preparing for launch

**HackerVoice:** We are a group of trained thieves and a hacker trying to take down a secret evil organization by traveling the world and are currently getting hunted by two big and secret organizations 

**HackerVoice:** And we are trying to launch a pack of gas station gum from the US to Canada, breaking who knows what kind of laws

**VroomVroom:** I lost track of how many laws we’ve broken

**InsertMomJoke:** I was trained to break laws

**Vine:** Who needs laws when you can have fun

**Vine:** Launching in 3...2...1

**InsertMomJoke:** It’s going to take a while

**HackerVoice:** I’ll text you guys if I get it

* * *

**HackerVoice:** *picture through a window of a bright orange pack of gum in the grass*

**HackerVoice:** Thank god it didn’t go through my window

**VroomVroom:** Enjoy the gum!

**Vine:** So up more next time

**InsertMomJoke:** Next time we are sending it through mail

**HackerVoice:** Good idea

**VroomVroom:** Guys I made another meme

**Vine:** Is it another Player one?

**VroomVroom:** Kind of

**VroomVroom:** All of us @ Carmen: I love you, Mom. I ain’t never gonna stop loving you, Moooom

**Vine:** That’s not the OG vine

**VroomVroom:** I don’t want to call Mom a mean word

**InsertMomJoke:** I appreciate it Zack

**VroomVroom:** :)

**InsertMomJoke:** :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I changed the usernames, I had a huge burst of funny username ideas and these are the ones I settled with. I have like so much more tho, so these prob won't be the final ones.


	9. I'm Suppose To Be Doing School Work But :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all Y'ALL ONE OF MY AMAZING READERS MADE FANART OF THIS FIC AND IT'S MY FAVORITE THING RN.
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/p/B-kxDyvnM1t/ 
> 
> CHECK IT OUT I LOVE IT! THANK YOU Cass_Phoenix!

**InsertMomJoke:** Zack, Ivy, I need your help to give Whiskers a bath

**VroomVroom:** Oh no

**Vine:** I’ll get the protective gloves

**HackerVoice:** ???? Whiskers is a pretty well behaved cat

**InsertMomJoke:** We gave her a bath when you crashed from not sleeping for three days

**InsertMomJoke:** And there were...casualties

**VroomVroom:** She clawed my collarbone

**Vine:** She got my arm

**InsertMomJoke:** I only came out unscathed cause I’m use to dealing with Tigress

**InsertMomJoke:** Okay, crew, Plan Wet Cat is a go

**HackerVoice:** May the Force Be With You

* * *

**Vine:** Mom, what would you say if I came home one day with two kittens

**InsertMomJoke:** …

**InsertMomJoke:** What’s in the box

**Vine:** …

**InsertMomJoke:** Ivy, what’s in the box

**Vine:** I think you know

**InsertMomJoke:** Ivy we can’t adopt more pets, we travel too much

**VroomVroom:** You are literally taking them out of the box and hugging them rn

**InsertMomJoke:** It would be cruel to these animals if we couldn’t take care of them properly 

**VroomVroom:** You are currently snuggling with them on the couch with Whiskers washing them

**HackerVoice:** Pics

**InsertMomJoke:** We can afford to take care of them, but can we afford the time?

**VroomVroom:** You are naming them rn

**InsertMomJoke:** Don’t talk to me or my three cat children, Whiskers, Blanche, and Emu, ever again

**Vine:** *picture of Carmen glaring at the camera while laying across the couch. Emu was curled up around her neck, Whiskers was laying on her stomach, and Blanche was eating a strand of hair that was out of her bun*

**HackerVoice:** I’m sending this to Julia

**InsertMomJoke:** DON'T YOU DARE-

* * *

**Vine:** Emu is a little sHIT

**HackerVoice:** Which one is Emu?

**VroomVroom:** Brown tabby

**InsertMomJoke:** What did he do?

**Vine:** HE CHEWED ON A FEW OF MY SPARE WIRES

**InsertMomJoke:** I’m sorry Ivy, I’ll train him to stop chewing on wires

**InsertMomJoke:** And replace the wires

**Vine:** Thanks mom

**VroomVroom:** Mom Blanche is on top of the fridge

**InsertMomJoke:** She does that it’s fine

**HackerVoice:** You named the white cat Blanche

**HackerVoice:** Real original Red

**InsertMomJoke:** Shut

**VroomVroom:** Theyre chaotic

**Vine:** Theyre kittens

**InsertMomJoke:** Children are chaotic, I would know, I have three

**Vine:** hey

**VroomVroom:** u right

**HackerVoice:** L I s t e n

**Shadowsan:** Black Sheep I would like to bring up all the shenanigans you did as a child 

**InsertMomJoke:** How about we don’t

**HackerVoice:** How about we do

**Vine:** yOU CANT DROP THAT BOMB AND THEN GHOST US

**HackerVoice:** Isn’t that what he always does?

**VroomVroom:** The man has a point

* * *

**Vine:** hOLY SHIT CARM

**Vine:** *picture*

**Vine:** WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY HAIR PRODUCTS????

**InsertMomJoke:** Cause I have a lot of hair?????

**InsertMomJoke:** I need everything I can to tame it

**VroomVroom:** I thought you used like magic to do that

**InsertMomJoke:** Just lots of hair products

**HackerVoice:** I have to special order her stuff in bulk

**InsertMomJoke:** Ivy just grab the hair ties and go

**InsertMomJoke:** You might drown in hair products

**VroomVroom:** What a way to go

**Vine:** What the hECKIN’ is this?????

**Vine:** *picture*

**HackerVoice:** She’s too far gone

**InsertMomJoke:** You use it after taking a shower and right before blow drying your hair

**InsertMomJoke:** It helps straighten naturally curly hair

**VroomVroom:** I take it that it isn’t working

**InsertMomJoke:** Correct

**Vine:** *picture* ????????

**InsertMomJoke:** Hairdryer 

**InsertMomJoke:** Ivy pleas

**Vine:** I’m leaving now don’t worry

* * *

**VroomVroom:** *Picture of Carmen asleep on the couch with all three cats snuggling her*

**VroomVroom:** Whiskers has taught them well

**Vine:** Maybe with the power of three cats we can get her to sleep a full eight hours

**HackerVoice:** I mean all of our sleep schedules are screwed

**HackerVoice:** But Red just sleeps more during the day so she has the right idea actually

**Vine:** Excuse

**Vine:** When else am I going to have the time to look at high quality memes other than the day

**HackerVoice:** On a plane or boat or however else you’re traveling to the next caper

**VroomVroom:** That’s when I look at memes

**VroomVroom:** I also send them to Carm even though we are like sitting across from each other

**Vine:** Zack you’re a genius and I’ve been a fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *crying over school work*


	10. I LIVED BITCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When school is trying to kill you but writing memes with the Red Fam brings you back

**HackerVoice:** Dumbest scar stories go

**Vine:** I have a scar in my inner arm from trying to flirt with a cute girl and I slipped and fell on some rocks

**VroomVroom:** I have a burn mark on my leg cause I leaned against a hot engine while wearing shorts

**InsertMomJoke:** The notch on my left eyebrow? Tripped and fell on my face while walking up some stairs

**HackerVoice:** Oh my g o d

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Meme Time

**Vine:** My favorite time

**VroomVroom:** Carmen: I want to see my little boy

Ivy, carrying Player into the warehouse: Here he comes

Carmen: I want to see my little boy

**InsertMomJoke:** Accurate

**HackerVoice:** Accurate

**Vine:** Accurate

**VroomVroom:** Thank you I try

**InsertMomJoke:** We appreciate your memes

**InsertMomJoke:** I need you two to help me clip the kitties’ claws

**VroomVroom:** I’ll catch the cats

**Vine:** I’ll hold ‘em hostage as Mom clips ‘em

**InsertMomJoke:** Okay, crew, let’s go

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Carmen: You didn’t protect the face

Tigress: yOu DIdN’t PrOtEcT tHe FaCe

**VroomVroom:** I would be upset that you stole my meme title but it’s a quality meme so I ain’t

**Vine:** 10/10 would let Player meme again

**InsertMomJoke:** Accurate

**HackerVoice:** *bows*

**HackerVoice:** Being a shut in gremlin has meme perks

**Vine:** Are u like allergic to the sun?

**VroomVroom:** Are you a vampire?

**HackerVoice:** Yes

**Vine:** *squints suspiciously*

**HackerVoice:** I just have mild agoraphobia u know this???

**VroomVroom:** U could still be a vampire

**InsertMomJoke:** Player isn’t a vampire

**Vine:** How can you be sure tho

**Vine:** Have you met him in person?

**InsertMomJoke:** Yes so I can confirm that he isn’t a vampire

**VroomVroom:** Thats just what he wants you to think

**HackerVoice:** Omg

**InsertMomJoke:** At this point I give up

**Vine:** You should see his illuminati rambles

**VroomVroom:** LIZARD PEOPLE ARE REAL IVY AND THEY ARE STEALING THE IDENTITIES OF GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS

**InsertMomJoke:** Identity theft is not a joke Jim

**HackerVoice:** *wipes away tear* so proud

**Vine:** *holding up camera* you’re doing great sweetie

**VroomVroom:** I get prouder and prouder every time :’)

**InsertMomJoke:** :)

* * *

**Vine:** Wow Carm who was that one dude?

**Vine:** He looked more pissed at seeing you than Tigress does

**Vine:** Which is saying something considering she hates u

**InsertMomJoke:** Oh I punched him in the face during school

**VroomVroom:** Um, why?

**InsertMomJoke:** He was being a bully to my friends

**InsertMomJoke:** I had to show him who was the Alpha of the school

**HackerVoice:** An icon truly 

**Vine:** I wanna be like you when I grow up

**VroomVroom:** Same

* * *

**Vine:** MOM Zack called me a whore

**InsertMomJoke:** Well are you?

**Vine:** No I only fuck on the weekends

**InsertMomJoke:** Zack, apologize

**VroomVroom:** I’m not apologizing to u, u whore

**HackerVoice:** What did I just witness

**Vine:** Art

**InsertMomJoke:** Can I have my money now?

**VroomVroom:** Yeah omw 

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** I had a missed opportunity 

**HackerVoice:** For?

**InsertMomJoke:** After Stockholm I should have sent a picture to Julia of me on the couch and said “I lived bitch”

**Vine:** Truly a missed moment

**VroomVroom:** Press F to pay respects for the fallen meme

**HackerVoice:** F

**Vine:** F

**InsertMomJoke:** F?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Errant insisted I put that TikTok meme in the story lol and at the time I was stuck so I did 
> 
> I think it goes well


	11. Y'ALL SEASON THREE CONFIRMED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL THE CARMEN SANDEIGO INSTAGRAM CONFIRMED THAT THERE WILL BE A SEASON THREE

**VroomVroom:** What if we don’t have bones inside of us, instead we have tiny little uses inside us operating our bodies like machines and we don’t know cause as robots we would rebel against them

**_*Several people are typing…*_ **

* * *

**Vine:** *picture of Whiskers sitting in front of the main door, staring up at it*

**Vine:** Mom come back we miss u

**InsertMomJoke:** I’m at the vet getting Blanche and Emu checked up??? I’m ten minutes away tops

**VroomVroom:** Doesnt mean we dont miss u :,(

**HackerVoice:** I’m in Canada and I miss u

**InsertMomJoke:** Stop all this heartwarming stuff you guys are going to make me cry in the waiting room again

**Vine:** WE LOVE AND APPRECIATE U MOM

**VroomVroom:** WE SUPPORT U 

**HackerVoice:** YOU ARE VALID

**InsertMomJoke:** Uhhhhh reVERSE UNO CARD

**InsertMomJoke:** I love you guys so much that words can’t describe how much I appreciate you guys supporting and caring though me even though I brought you into this really dangerous life that could potentially cause you guys harm. But you guys stand by me anyway and I can’t even begin to put to words how much your support means to me

**VroomVroom:** HDSBLKJDFGW:KRJG

**Vine:** NOW IM CRYING FUCK

**HackerVoice:** teARS AREN’T GOOD FOR MY KEYBOARD S T O P

**InsertMomJoke:** <3 <3 <3

**InsertMomJoke:** I still ended up crying in the waiting room and the receptionist asked if I was ok

**Vine:** Youre welcome mom

**InsertMomJoke:** S t o p the workers here are gonna think that I cry in waiting rooms

**VroomVroom:** Tis all part of the plan

**InsertMomJoke:** The vet is calling us in so I’m l e a v i n g

* * *

**VroomVroom:** So I’ve put the three of you in categories

**VroomVroom:** Player; smol

Carmen: tol

Ivy; stonk

**HackerVoice:** Idk what I expected but it wasnt this

**Vine:** The man aint wrong tho

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Guys, I have reason to believe that one of us is an owl

**Vine:** Who?

**HackerVoice:** [imag](https://www.google.com/search?q=kevin+hart+memes&rlz=1CAEAQE_enUS829&sxsrf=ALeKk00CSgspK2nfuxUbD5Zj9Iky2Hk9MQ:1587744795484&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=NqyuclcVuM12BM%253A%252Cv_PB9HeOkOeYbM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kRitL_Kj5CL6fJJn7RxybS1gCiipg&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiI-JykuoHpAhVXj54KHYUUCFQQ9QEwAnoECAQQFA#imgrc=NqyuclcVuM12BM:) [e](https://www.google.com/search?q=kevin+hart+memes&rlz=1CAEAQE_enUS829&sxsrf=ALeKk00CSgspK2nfuxUbD5Zj9Iky2Hk9MQ:1587744795484&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=NqyuclcVuM12BM%253A%252Cv_PB9HeOkOeYbM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kRitL_Kj5CL6fJJn7RxybS1gCiipg&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiI-JykuoHpAhVXj54KHYUUCFQQ9QEwAnoECAQQFA#imgrc=NqyuclcVuM12BM:)

**InsertMomJoke:** An hour

**InsertMomJoke:** I was gone for an hour and this is what you guys do

**VroomVroom:** Mom u are 80% of our impulse control

**Vine:** I thought it was 77%

**HackerVoice:** The fact that that is not an even number bothers me more than I care to admit

**Vine:** Then perish


	12. *Insert Spider-Man Meme*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL. Y ' A L L. I FINISHED MY CLASSES EARLY! I GRADUATED!
> 
> Besides working on this fic, I've kind of fallen into the Marvel Rising fandom and had been casually writing for that fandom. I'm hoping to post more for it because it's such a small fandom. *cups hands over mouth* IF ANY OF Y'ALL HAVE DISNEY+ AND LIKE MARVEL PLEASE CHECK OUT MARVEL RISING! IF YOU DON'T HAVE DISNEY+ ALL THE EPISODES ARE POSTED ON YOUTUBE BY MARVEL! ANY SPIDER-GWEN/GHOST-SPIDER FAN SHOULD CHECK IT OUT TOO!

**Vine:** Mom pleas

**InsertMomJoke:** No

**Vine:** Please I’ll do anything

**InsertMomJoke:** Anything?

**Vine:** Anything

**InsertMomJoke:[Then Perish](https://www.google.com/search?q=then+perish+meme&rlz=1CAEAQE_enUS829&sxsrf=ALeKk01rA8BJ2NxVyCTfDDIcRPEZE2vdJA:1588775768379&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=2Oz4OcgNalKDiM%253A%252CbD879vzhdtfc_M%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kTvN5v5Rp7AVNwehFTrYPX8FaKyCQ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiW07T6up_pAhWvHjQIHSKpDT4Q9QEwA3oECAkQGw#imgrc=2Oz4OcgNalKDiM:)**

**VroomVroom:** I can’t belive Ivy is fxcking dead

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Since it’s my turn to choose for movie night

**HackerVoice:** We’re watching Into The Spiderverse to continue the trend of Spiderman movies

**VroomVroom:** HELL YEAH

**Vine:** I LOVE THAT MOVIE

**InsertMomJoke:** I have no clue what this movie is but if you guys like it I’m sure it’ll be good

**HackerVoice:** YOU BET YOUR TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD IT IS

**InsertMomJoke:** Wow that’s a lot to live up to

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Carm is Spiderman Confirmed

**InsertMomJoke:** Where is this going

**Vine:** Swings on web/grappling hook

**Vine:** Is a hero 

**Vine:** Kicks names and takes ass

**Vine:** Literally adopted three kids

**Vine:** Red

**Vine:** Extra/Secretly a meme

**HackerVoice:** *whispers* holy shit 

**InsertMomJoke:** I’m not Spiderman

**InsertMomJoke:** First of all, I would be Spider-Gwen if anything

**InsertMomJoke:** Second, why does the pig sound like John Mulany

**HackerVoice:** Because it is John Mulany

**Vine:** STOP SNITCHIN’ MOTHERFUCKER

**VroomVroom:** Watch your h*ckin’ language Ivy

**InsertMomJoke:** Why did you censor heck?

**VroomVroom:** Because it’s a fucking bad word Carm

**InsertMomJoke:** All of you are grounded

* * *

**VroomVroom:** MOM IVY CALLED ME THE B-WORD

**Vine:** Motherfucker dont start with a b

**HackerVoice:** Hi my name is Michael with a B and I’ve been afraid of insects my whole life-

**VroomVroom:** Stop. Where

**HackerVoice:** Where what?

**VroomVroom:** Where’s the b?

**HackerVoice:** tHeReS a BeE?!?!

**Shadowsan:** *image of Carmen looking at her phone while trying to hide her laugh behind a hand and failing*

**Vine:** A blessed image thank you Grandpasan

**Shadowsan:** I’m sorry what did you call me

**Vine:** gOtTa BlAsT

* * *

**Shadowsan:** I would like to make you all aware that I would be okay with you three considering me as your Grandfather, as long as you three are okay with me thinking of you as my grandchildren/children

**VroomVroom:** Thank you Grandpa

**Vine:** <3

**_[HackerVoice renamed Shadowsan to_ ** _Grandpa-san_ **_]_ **

  
**Grandpa-san:** I have regrets


	13. Carmen Might Steal Someone's Kneecaps??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow crap has gotten chaotic for me, but I managed to get this chapter done XD.
> 
> Everything might be opening up again soon, at least in my state, and I really want Olive Garden :( so that might be possible soon. I've done so much casual writing and post writing than I have during the school year.
> 
> I've been up since 2am, so sorry if anything sounds weird.

**VroomVroom:** My choice for movie night

**VroomVroom:** Since we watched Infinity War last time we are watching Endgame

**HackerVoice:** Do you really wanna do that? Do you wanna unleash that? 

**VroomVroom:** ??????????

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** STEVE RODGERS WOULD N E V E R

**HackerVoice:** I warned you 

**VroomVroom:** No you didn’t

**InsertMomJoke:** HE WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO PEGGY AND HIS FRIENDS

**Vine:** Louder for the people in the back

**InsertMomJoke:** I’M STEALING THE RUSSO’S PENCILS, PENS, AND LAPTOPS SO THEY CAN’T RUIN THESE CHARACTERS ANYMORE

**HackerVoice:** Take their kneecaps while you’re at it

**InsertMomJoke:** THOSE TOO

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Mom, Emu is trying to steal my food

**VroomVroom:** Again

**InsertMomJoke:** Blanche shoved her whole face into my yogurt this morning

**InsertMomJoke:** Put him on the floor and tell him  _ “Nada” _

**VroomVroom:** I can’t beleive that worked

**Vine:** Mom trained them well

**HackerVoice:** How did you become so good at training pets????

**InsertMomJoke:** I helped Countess Cleo train her dogs, it was a favorite pastime of mine and Cleo taught it would “teach me to discipline my wild side”

**Vine:** I’m assuming it failed

**InsertMomJoke:** Oh yeah

**Vine:** No wonder those dogs loved you instantly when they saw you

**InsertMomJoke:** Cats are just stubborn dogs

**VroomVroom:** Cats are dIRTY FOOD STEALING WHORES

**VroomVroom:** CARM PLEASE COME GET YOUR SON

**InsertMomJoke:** Omw

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Carmen 5 minutes after meeting all three of us: [Custody of child](https://www.google.com/search?q=adoption+papers+meme&rlz=1CAEAQE_enUS829&sxsrf=ALeKk00kcPP4QkIyn7UwP2nR0f5PwweoUQ:1589382428355&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=Ew32QXBTd3zjYM%253A%252CipGBqIzGNVqzpM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kTDkOPuCUz5b-FRA2n36EEC_DepfQ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiAkLf4jrHpAhUOqZ4KHRR8D-AQ9QEwAHoECAkQFQ#imgrc=Ew32QXBTd3zjYM:)

**InsertMomJoke:** ...yeah accurate

**Vine:** Awwww mom 

**InsertMomJoke:** If only I existed in the system, you two weren’t adults, and Player’s parents wouldn’t fight me in court :/

**HackerVoice:** We are still your kids emotionally

**VroomVroom:** ^^^^

**Vine:** ^^^^

**InsertMomJoke:** Awww <3

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** Zack what are you doing

**VroomVroom:** TikTok

**InsertMomJoke:** Kk be careful

**VroomVroom:** You got it mom

**HackerVoice:** Red’s trust in us is both heartwarming and amazing

**InsertMomJoke:** <3

**Vine:** What if we make Carmen a TikTok and it’s just her posting vague videos about the location we’re robbing

**HackerVoice:** Don’t say that Red will

**InsertMomJoke:** Hmmm I’ll think on it

**Vine:** I will write an essay on why you should do this

**HackerVoice:** You would need two, one for Carmen Sandiego and one for fun

**InsertMomJoke:** I’ll think on it

**Vine:** Im starting the essay


	14. Monster House Appreciation After Being Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow y'all, I'm actually alive??? So much has happened. I graduated, I got a job, I got into college, I quit my job, moved out of my hometown, currently go to college, trying to get another job. All while COVID is still a thing that might out my college back online.
> 
> And I watched Carmen Sandiego season 3!!!

**VroomVroom:** Does it ever feel like we are only getting controlled by a puppet master for their amusement and the amusement of others? And that sometimes when nothing happens for a while they’ve moved on from us or somethings of possibly greater importance have taken their attention? Do you think this puppet master actually cares about us, or we are just toys for five seconds of fame and attention? Do you think they look at us after being busy and feel guilty at leaving us in a state of pause?

**Vine:** Zack it is 2 in the fuxking MORNING and its too DAMN EARLY TO HAVE A CRISIS ABOUT MY EXISTENCE so kindly go back to temporary death please and goodnight

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Do you guys ever wonder how the world would actually react if a plague showed up like in the movies?

**InsertMomJoke:** Probably the exact opposite of how the gov in the movies react

**Vine:** U right there are some wack people in the world

**VroomVroom:** Ya, look at Florida Man

* * *

**Vine:** Who’s turn is it to pick the movie for Movie Night™?

**VroomVroom:** How did u do that

**InsertMomJoke:** It’s my turn

**InsertMomJoke:** I picked up this movie “Monster House” from the clearance section of Walmart and it looks interesting

**HackerVoice:** Noice let’s go

* * *

**HackerVoice:** This movie is underappreciated and a surprisingly accurate representation of pre-teens reacting to a Haunted House

**InsertMomJoke:** I, too, do not trust the government

**Vine:** My favorite part is when they wanna know how to take down the house, their first thought is to go to gamer dude

**VroomVroom:** Not to mention the Tragic Love Story where the dude was in love with his house, but he knew she was dangerous and that he would have to kill her himself at some point

**InserMomJoke:** And how he went against his normally calm and kind nature to protect others by being aggressive and angry

**HackerVoice:** Still a better love story than Twilight

**VroomVroom:** *chef’s kiss* a masterpiece

**Vine:** Next we watch the Bee Movie

**HackerVoice:** If I have to hear you and Zack quote the ENTIRE SCRIPT for that CURSED movie ONE MORE TIME I will personally hack your phones and post your search history in this chat

**VroomVroom:** NO DONT EXPOSE MY SHREK AND SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG FANFICTION

**InsertMomJoke:** Hi What The Fuck

* * *

**Grandpa-san:** Why is there a cluster of tiny ducks in the bathroom?

**Grandpa-san:** This is the fourth time in two weeks. Last time they were worshipping a slightly bigger duck.

* * *

**Grandpa-san:** Why are there three extremely large inflatable ducks in the bathroom? This is getting out of hand

**VroomVroom:** Quakers

* * *

**Grandpa-san:** *picture of a living duck standing on the toilet seat*

**Grandpa-san:** Black Sheep this prank has gone too far.

**InsertMomJoke:** A new record, it took you a three weeks to figure out it was me

**Grandpa-san:** It was the three inflatable ducks that tipped me off. Zack and Ivy would have bought more than three.

**Vine:** U right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will have slight season three spoilers so beware when I next update :)


	15. Vaguely Discussing Season 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Warning: Vague mentions of stuff that happened in season three so if you haven't watched it yet, you're loss ig

**Vine:** Screamy Detective Dude is back from the Void and came back with driving skills???

**Vine:** Not that it mattered since Brunt destroyed his car

**VroomVroom:** F in the chat for Detective Dude’s car

**HackerVoice:** F

**Vine:** F

**InsertMomJoke:** F

**Grandpa-san:** F

**VroomVroom:** Alright who taught Shadow-san memes

**InsertMomJoke:** It’s a joint effort between Player and I

**HackerVoice:** At this point I should do online classes of teaching memes

**Vine:** Imagine how many Millennials and Gen Zers would have heart attacks

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Mom did you adopt another child

**InsertMomJoke:** I tried but she wanted to steal back the paintings she stole

**HackerVoice:** hMmM i WoNdEr WhO tHaT rEmInD mE oF

**InsertMomJoke:** L I s t e n

**InsertMomJoke:** I just tried to make sure she wouldn’t get corrupted by VILE

**InsertMomJoke:** Which worked

**Vine:** But you didnt expect to make a Mini Carmen Sandiego

**InsertMomJoke:** It was not my intention correct

**HackerVoice:** You’re inspirational Red

**InsertMomJoke:** Most of the time I don’t try to be

**Vine:** MOST OF THE TIME

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Is no one gonna talk about how Spin Kick or whatever his name is sounds like Prince Zuko

**Vine:** THNK YOU

**VroomVroom:** ITS NOT JUST ME

**Grandpa-san:** Prince Zuko?

**InsertMomJoke:** He’s from Avatar the Last Airbender

**Vine:** MOVIE NIGHT BUT WE’RE WATCHING AVATAR

**HackerVoice:** They finally put it back on Netflix

**InsertMomJoke:** Can we watch Legend of Korra next time?

**Vine:** Absolutely 

**InsertMomJoke:** Yay :D

**VroomVroom:** Wholesome Mom

* * *

**Vine:** *picture of the three cats staring up at the main door*

**Vine:** Mom we miss you

**InsertMomJoke:** I’m buying stuff for my Halloween costume???? I’m at the Spirit ten minutes away???

**VroomVroom:** Oh OH can you buy come Halloween candy while youre out???

**VroomVroom:** I want to set up an candy bowl since we wont be here on Halloween 

**HackerVoice:** Who’s going to be trick or treating at warehouses?????

**VroomVroom:** We’ll find out now wont we

**Vine:** That has such an ominous & foreboding energy to it

**InsertMomJoke:** Perfect for Halloween then

**InsertMomJoke:** Do you guys want anything else while I’m out?

**Vine:** Gum

**HackerVoice:** Gum

**Grandpa-san:** Gum

**InsertMomJoke:** What flavor?

**HackerVoice:** Watermelon

**Vine:** Grape

**Grandpa-san:** Spearmint

**InsertMomJoke:** Player I’ll mail it to you 

**Vine:** Awww I wanna break air space laws again :(

**VroomVroom:** Mom said no sis

**HackerVoice:** I cant explain to my parents why gum broke through my window

**Vine:** Not with that attitude u cant

**HackerVoice:** N o

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** I would sell Sheena’s furry ass soul to Satan for one corn ship

**HackerVoice:** Is it because she broke your witch broom?

**InsertMomJoke:** Yes :,(

**Vine:** @Tigeress meet me @ Denny’s at 3am for making Mom sad >:(

**VroomVroom:** Tigress turn on your Location I Just Wanna Talk

**InsertMomJoke:** No she would actually kill you and I’d be even more sad :(((

**Vine:** Shit now I cant

**VroomVroom:** Only because Mom would be sad if we died

**HackerVoice:** And not because you could die???

**VroomVroom:** That too I guess :/

**InsertMomJoke:** You know what? I’ll take it

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Red

**HackerVoice:** Did you just jump out the window?

**InsertMomJoke:** Maybe

**VroomVroom:** Chase: I forbid you from taking one more step down those stairs!

Carmen: Okay

Carmen: *Yeets out window* 

**HackerVoice:** ThatsBasicallyWhatHappened

**InsertMomJoke:** Accurate

**Vine:** Mom is so extra

**VroomVroom:** Example A. The roses

**InsertMomJoke:** You guys just love bringing up the roses, don’t you

**Vine:** Absolutely

**HackerVoice:** We will never let you forget it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is an Among Us chapter cause I played it so now y'all have to read about it lol
> 
> Any memes you recognize is prob from Tumblr so credit to those hilarious people


	16. That Among Us Chapter I Promised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's that Among Us chapter I've been talking about lol
> 
> I saw a Service Dog at my campus coffee shop today, a Good Boy

**InsertMomJoke:** This game has made me realize that I can’t trust any of you

**InsertMomJoke:** I can only trust Whiskers, Blanche, and Emu

**HackerVoice:** What about me? :,(

**HackerVoice:** Idk about the rest of these fools, but you can trust me Red

**InsertMomJoke:** You literally killed me the last round

**HackerVoice:** Youre really good at finding out who the Imposter is

**HackerVoice:** Sorry Red but youre a threat

**InsertMomJoke:** Thanks I try

* * *

**Vine:** Carm is the Imposter

**VroomVroom:** We just started how do you know

**Vine:** Shes crying

**InsertMomJoke:** L I s t e n

**HackerVoice:** Red it’s a game, it’s ok to kill us

**InsertMomJoke:** I can’t :,(

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Shadow-san is legally not allowed to be the Imposter

**Vine:** Agreed

**VroomVroom:** Agreed

**InsertMomJoke:** Agreed

**Grandpa-san:** :(

* * *

**VroomVroom:** aCK-

**Vine:** Omg he fuckin’ dead

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Green is pretty sus

**Vine:** Blue’s the Imposter

**HackVoice:** I swEAR-

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** Orange is the Imposter

**VroomVroom:** No Im not

**InsertMomJoke:** I LITERALLY SAW YOUJ VENT

**VroomVroom:** No u didnt

* * *

**VroomVroom:** I say whoever wins this round decides whats for dessert tonight

**Vine:** Deal

**HackerVoice:** Deal

**InsertMomJoke:** Deal

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Red you arent allowed to be Imposter anymore

**Vine:** YOU LITERALLY CRIED EVERYTIME YOU WERE IMPOSTER HOW

**InsertMomJoke:** I think I’m feeling cheesecake tonight :)

* * *

**Vine:** *Carmen on the couch on her laptop with the cats surrounding her. Whiskers on the arm of the couch and Blanche and Emu on the back of the couch*

**VroomVroom:** They like to watch her play Among Us

**HackerVoice:** Wholesome content

**Vine:** Guys Red is pretty sus

**InsertMomJoke:** Then Vote Me Off You Cowards

**VroomVroom:** …

**InsertMomJoke:** I CANT BELIEVE YOU GUYS ACTUALLY DID IT

**HackerVoice:** Red was not the Imposter lol

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** Blue’s being kind of sus

**HackerVoice:** :O Mom how dare

**HackerVoice:** I’m doing my tasks

**InsertMomJoke:** Oh yeah? Explain the task

**HackerVoice:** …

**VroomVroom:** I SAW GREEN

**Grandpa-san:** I just witnessed Ivy kill Zack

**VroomVroom:** Ivy u moNSTER

**VroomVroom:** yOU LEFT MY LITTLE BUDDY WITHOUT A PARENT

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Who killed my best friend :(

**InsertMomJoke:** The audacity… 

**Vine:** Shhh Mom ghosts dont talk

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** Zack please stop sending me Among Us memes at 3am you’re supposed to be asleep

**VroomVroom:** Idk Red is kind of sus…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y'all want a fanfiction of like Team Red playing Among Us, tell me in the comments and I might write one...or y'all call write one and link it to me in the comments :)


	17. Carmen Please Stop Getting Tased Please-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad you all liked the Among Us chapter AND story :). I'm considering expanding the Chatfic Universe, meaning adding new stories connected to this one. I haven't made a 100% decision yet, but I think it will be fun for everyone!

**HackerVoice:** Red can you please stop getting tased 

**InsertMomJoke:** I’ll try but no promises cause people apparently like to tase me

**Vine:** Which is worse being tased or ACME’s gas gun things

**InsertMomJoke:** Hmmmm

**InsertMomJoke:** ACME’s gas guns caused me to almost die

**InsertMomJoke:** And tasing only got me captured a few times…

**InsertMomJoke:** Hm I’m thinking both suck equal amounts

**VroomVroom:** Valid 

**Vine:** Hey Zack wanna test this new taser Im making

**VroomVroom:** YEET on my way

**HackerVoice:** This isn’t going to end well

* * *

**Vine:** Does anyone else find songs that remind them of Carmen? 

**HackerVoice:** ^^^

**VroomVroom:** ^^^

**InsertMomJoke:** I mean there’s some songs that I hear and I relate to but I don’t think much on it

**HackerVoice:** I have a whole playlist send me your songs

**Vine:** [ [Link] ](https://youtu.be/qshAQ-zEkNk)

**VroomVroom:** [ [Link] ](https://youtu.be/DCeVIaLPiRQ)

**Grandpa-san:** [ [Link] ](https://youtu.be/6jKXC8UydD4)

**InsertMomJoke:** …

**InsertMomJoke:** Can you add Zack and Ivy’s song?

**HackerVoice:** Absolutely I will

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Ok but

**HackerVoice:** Are we not gonna talk about how when Devineaux saw Carmen wearing black he was immedently “La Femme Noire!”

**InsertMomJoke:** Part of me wants to wear other colors just to see if he does it again

**Vine:** La Femme Jaune!

**VroomVroom:** La Femme Blanc! 

**Vine:** Mom if you do go through with that TikTok idea u should have a complation of just Devineaux screaming “La Femme Rouge!”

**InsertMomJoke:** I’ll think about it Ivy :)

**Vine:** What a mom answer

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Meme Time

**Vine:** BEST TIME

**VroomVroom:** VILE: We have your son

Carmen: I don’t have a son

VILE: Then who asked us to buy him donuts and a twelve pack of soda?

Carmen: Oh my god you have Zack

**HackerVoice:** Accurate

**Vine:** I thought that this was basically our time held hostage

**InsertMomJoke:** I love it

**Grandpa-san:** *picture of Carmen laughing at her phone*

**InsertMomJoke:** Stop exposing me please I have a reputation 

**VroomVroom:** No mom please this is great

**HackerVoice:** Shadow-san is Best Grandpa-san

**Vine:** LET US LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Do you think at any problem that pops up in his life Devineaux just blames Carmen

**HackerVoice:** Like his water bottle spills on him and he just squints out the window like  _ “La Femme Rouge” _

**InsertMomJoke:** I’ll ask him next time we see him for you guys lol

* * *

**_[Inspector Devineaux to Agent Argent]_ **

**Devineaux:** Miss Argent is it not a superstition that you sneeze when someone is talking about you?

* * *

**Vine:** Is VILE operative code names just their Thiefsonas?

**HackerVoice:** Red hasn’t stopped laughing for five minutes

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Mom can I use your weighted blanket to do an internet thing

**InsertMomJoke:** Is this internet thing dangerous

**VroomVroom:** No

**InsertMomJoke:** Ok have fun

* * *

**Vine:** *Video of Zack throwing a red weighted blanket up and he crashed to the ground at the weight of it*

**Vine:** Jeez Mom how heavy is that thing

**InsertMomJoke:** Around the weight of my trauma 

**VroomVroom:** Ok I laughed but Im coming over to give you a hug

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** I’m running to Starbucks what do you guys want

**VroomVroom:** A Tall matcha frappuccino

**Grandpa-san** : A black coffee

**Vine:** A Venti Mocha-Unicorn-Matcha-Expresso-Juniper-Rose-Eyyy-Macarena Frappuccino

**InsertMomJoke:** Is that on the secret menu? 

**InsertMomJoke:** Ivy please-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the links work, but if not please tell me and I'll fix it.


	18. Brain; Empty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have work, and a project, and my brain no longer works but I got y'all lol.

**HackerVoice:** Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

**Grandpa-san:** Rude

**VroomVroom:** That’s fair

**Vine:** Not again

**InsertMomJoke:** Are you going to want this back?

**HackerVoice:** Red n O

* * *

**Vine:** MomMomMomMomMom

**Vine:** There’s a haunted house nearby can we go?

**InsertMomJoke:** Yes if Zack is ok with it

**VroomVroom:** I will prob jump into someone’s arms like Scooby Doo but Im dOWN

**HackerVoice:** I can’t wait for someone to drop the phone I’m on

**Vine:** Can’t wait for Mom to punch some poor schmuck that jump scares her

**InsertMomJoke:** Ivy that was one time-

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Alright the haunted house checklist

**Vine:** Zack leapt into Shadow-san’s arms

**VroomVroom:** Carm punched a clown

**InsertMomJoke:** I feel so bad :(

**Vine:** She wouldn’t stop apologizing 

**VroomVroom:** That dude was the real MVP tho cause he apparently feels no pain

**HackerVoice:** He did protect the face

**InsertMomJoke:** Ivy dropped the phone

**Vine:** Good thing you have a really good case Mom

**HackerVoice:** I had an amazing view of the floor

**InsertMomJoke:** And we all got jackets

**InsertMomJoke:** I’ll mail yours tomorrow morning Player

**HackerVoice:** YEET

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** Blanche likes to wake me up by rubbing her face against my hand

**InsertMomJoke:** And it’s my favorite way to wake up now

**Vine:** That’s so soft

**HackerVoice:** Is this why you’re always awake by the time I call you in the morning :(

**InsertMomJoke:** She likes to wake me up early

**VroomVroom:** I thought you just didnt sleep

**Vine:** The cats make sure she gets a least a good few hours now 

**InsertMomJoke:** They just know when it’s time for me to sleep

**InsertMomJoke:** Idk if it’s a cat thing or if our cats are just special

**VroomVroom:** The cats have super powers but it's the power to make Carm sleep

* * *

**HackerVoice:** What bender do you think you are gO

**HackerVoice:** Red is an airbender

**Vine:** Cause she’s flippy and fast yES

**InsertMomJoke:** Player you’d be a nonbender cause you never go anywhere

**HackerVoice:** You’re right but hEY

**Vine:** I call earthbender cause I vibe with it

**HackerVoice:** Understandable have a nice day

**VroomVroom:** I think nonbender cause I like Sokka

**InsertMomJoke:** Shadow-san is either earthbender or firebender

**Grandpa-san:** I thought Metalbending was a very admirable bending style

**Vine:** Now that we got that settled

**Vine:** Mom how the HELL do you yeet yourself like five feet in the air-

* * *

**VroomVroom:** MEME TIME

**Vine:** HELL YEAH

**VroomVroom:** ACME: We have your dad

Carmen: Which one?

ACME: Ninja dude?

Carmen: Oh that’s Shadow-san, yeah you don’t have him, he has you *hangs us*

**HackerVoice:** Accurate 

**Vine:** Thats if they can even catch Shadow-san

**InsertMomJoke:** Accurate

**Grandpa-san:** I appreciate your confidence in my skills   
  


* * *

**VroomVroom:** I thought it was impossible that vampires can get sick

**HackerVoice:** Maybe I got sick because I’m not a vampire

**Vine:** Naw it’s really easy to fake a cold

**Vine:** I did it all the time as a kid to get out of school

**VroomVroom:** And you NEVER taught me your ways????

**Vine:** So Player is still a vampire

**HackerVoice:** Red pleas

**InsertMomJoke:** We’re sending you a get well package Player :)

**HackerVoice:** Common Sense Finally

**VroomVroom:** Make sure to not stress yourself out

**Vine:** And drink a ton of water

**InsertMomJoke:** And make sure to eat something

**HackerVoice:** This is wholesome 

**HackerVoice:** Now if you all excuse me imma take a nap

**InsertMomJoke:** Sweet dreams

**VroomVroom:** Dont let the VILE operatives bite!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all remember when Haunted Houses were a thing? Tragic
> 
> Fun Fact: Some times I am blessed by my cat waking me up by rubbing her face against my hand and I just wanted to talk about it.


	19. Carmen's Knife Dealer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I'm not gonna lie, today feels wack for me. And I'm a little concerned cause I had a migraine yesterday and I have to go to work after I post this so we'll see how that goes.

**Vine:** *A video of Zack and Ivy wearing sunglasses in the kitchen. Zack playing the trombone while Ivy slams the oven door repeatedly and headbanging*

**VroomVroom:** When Mom isn’t home

**InsertMomJoke:** I’ve been gone for ten minutes

**InsertMomJoke:** Shadow-san and I are just walking into the store

**HackerVoice:** This was a premeditated meme

**Vine:** You bet your vampire cave it is 

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** I don’t think I’ve actually talked about just how petty the VILE faculty is

**InsertMomJoke:** Or just how incapable they were of raising a child

**InsertMomJoke:** No offence Shadow-san

**Grandpa-san:** Looking back into the events of the past, you are not wrong

**Vine:** Oh yeah Story Time!

**VroomVroom:** I have my donuts and Im ready

**HackerVoice:** Spill the tea Red

**InsertMomJoke:** I once told Professor Maelstrom that I was scared of the monster in my closet, as a child does

**InsertMomJoke:** And he gave me a knife

**Grandpa-san:** So that’s who you got knives from

**Vine:** Are you two telling me that Maelstrom was Carm’s Knife Dealer???

**InsertMomJoke:** Hmm basically yeah

**Vine:** oH mY gOd

**InsertMomJoke:** And he always gave me random skulls for my birthday every year

**InsertMomJoke:** Brunt and Shadow-san had the Cleaners get rid of them the day after tho

**Grandpa-san:** We started hiring Nannies when we realized two of us couldn’t raise a child

**VroomVroom:** I always love Carm Story Times

**HackerVoice:** ^^^^

**Vine:** ^^^^

* * *

**Vine:** Player, do you take constructive criticism 

**HackerVoice:** No.

* * *

**Vine:** Mom do you take constructive criticism

**InsertMomJoke:** Yeah, sure, what is it?

**VroomVroom:** Are you crying??????

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Red

**HackerVoice:** I just realized that the forever that I’ve known you, you’ve never actually gotten sick

**HackerVoice:** Not even a cold

**InsertMomJoke:** I have my vaccines

**Vine:** Wait but theres no vaccine for the common cold

**InsertMomJoke:** Really? I got a vaccine for it when I was a kid

**VroomVroom:** Back up, rewind

**VroomVroom:** Did you just say that VILE created a vaccine for the common cold and they didnt release it to the world

**HackerVoice:** They truly are evil smh

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Meme Time

**Vine:** Y E E T

**VroomVroom:** Carmen @ ACME agents: Alright listen up motherfuckers

Carmen: Not you Jules, you’re doing great sweetie and we’re happy to have you here

**HackerVoice:** Accurate

**Vine:** Accurate

**InsertMomJoke:** ...accurate

**InsertMomJoke:** In all honesty, none of them seem to appreciate Jules

**VroomVroom:** Why dont we just steal her until they appreciate her

**HackerVoice:** Zack no that's kidnapping

**HackerVoice:** RED ARE YOU ACTUALLY CONSIDERING IT

**InsertMomJoke:** wElL nOt AnYmOrE

**InsertMomJoke:** Plus Jules isn’t working for ACME or Interpol anymore, remember?

**Vine:** We know you miss her mom

**InsertMomJoke:** I really do :,(

**InsertMomJoke:** She was the only person to actually guess my motives 

**VroomVroom:** Clearly the brain cells

**Vine:** Rip ACME they lost their brain cells

**HackerVoice:** Can we get an F in the chat for the loss of ACME’s brain cells

**VroomVroom:** F

**InsertMomJoke:** F

**Vine:** F

**Grandpa-san:** F

**Vine:** For a moment I forgot that Sandow-san understands memes now and had a heart attack

**Vine:** Thanks Player you almost killed me

  
**HackerVoice:** Np

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to credit mandaree1 for the idea of Maelstrom giving Carmen skulls for her birthdays lol. I highly suggest you read their story [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26855890)
> 
> Made me luagh, please read it if you haven't


	20. She's Beauty, She's Grace, She'll Trip On Her Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so...in order for the picture to show up in the fic I had to link it cause idk how to insert an image yet. So I posted the meme I created for this fic onto my Tumblr and took the link...be careful with this knowledge lol.

**Vine:** Alright u motherfuckers

**Vine:** And Mom

**VroomVroom:** Wow

**Vine:** I made a Kahoot game based on our adventures

**Vine:** So you guys get your bootys into the living room and Player I better see your face on Carm’s computer screen

**Vine:** Cause we’re having a KAHOOT NIGHT

* * *

**HackerVoice:** oH mY gOd

**InsertMomJoke:** NO

**VroomVroom:** What

**Vine:** Did something happen at the store

**HackerVoice:** ONLY THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN IN MY LIFE

**InsertMomJoke:** Player I swear-

**Vine:** Dont leave us hanging Player

**HackerVoice:** So there was an old lady who needed help reaching something on the top shelf

**InsertMomJoke:** P l a y e r

**HackerVoice:** And of course Red helped her and they started talking

**HackerVoice:** At some point during the conversation the lady said “You’re so mature for your age”

**InsertMomJoke:** You’re grounded.

**HackerVoice:** And Red went “Thanks it’s the trauma”

**VroomVroom:** W H E E Z E

**InsertMomJoke:** You guys are too much of an influence on me I said that INSTINCTIVELY

**Vine:** i CaNt bReAtH

**HackerVoice:** My parents came into my room and asked me why I was laughing so hard

**InsertMomJoke:** You’re all grounded

**VroomVroom:** Guys I made a meme

**VroomVroom:[Meme](https://onesinglefrenchfry.tumblr.com/post/632722348554010624/ok-so-in-order-to-put-this-pic-in-my-chatfic-i)**

**InsertMomJoke:** I support your creative endeavors

**InsertMomJoke:** But you’re all grounded

**InsertMomJoke:** Get on top of the fridge 

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Whenever I think about the Troll I instantly start thinking about a YouTuber about to introduce a sponsorship

**HackerVoice:** “This caper is sponsored by NordVPN. NordVPN, if I can hack into your personal files you need a VPN-”

**Vine:** Roasting your rival I see

**HackerVoice:** In all honesty, I haven’t interacted with him enough to consider him a rival

**HackerVoice:** And besides trying to mess with my best friend and my computers, in the end we bested him before I even interacted with him

**HackerVoice:** Plus I think he doesn’t really know about my existence besides “Carmen Sandiego has a hacker” so can you really have a rival if one of them doesn’t even know you exist?

**Vine:** Damn Player 

**Vine:** Just destroy my joke with facts

**VroomVroom:** Destroy? He obliterated it

**HackerVoice:** :)

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Alright guys change the “Number of Days Carmen Has Avoided Injury” back to zero

**InsertMomJoke:** :(

**Vine:** Mom what happened who do I need to fight

**VroomVroom:** I can have the get-away car ready in like two seconds

**InsertMomJoke:** It’s nothing bad I just tripped while walking back from the cafe

**InsertMomJoke:** I wasn’t even injured just scraped my palm

**VroomVroom:** A scrap is considered an injury so imma just change the number back to zero

**InsertMomJoke:** But I was doing so well :(

**Vine:** Carmen: can do extremely difficult parkour with no mistake and isn’t even out of breath

Also Carmen: Trips on sidewalks

**InsertMomJoke:** L I s t e n

**InsertMomJoke:** *picture*

**InsertMomJoke:** The sidewalk was uneven and my shoe caught the edge of it

**InsertMomJoke:** So, your honor, this incident was not my fault I was framed

**HackerVoice:** You’ve made an excellent case but unfortunately we still have to change the number

**HackerVoice:** And you better clean that scrap when you get back to your hotel room or imma fight you

**InsertMomJoke:** No you won’t

  
**HackerVoice:** U right 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do y'all want me to write out the Kahoot night? If so please tell me and help out by dropping some Kahoot questions to put in the story.


	21. Am I Projecting Onto Zack? Mayhaps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID IT GUYS!!! I FIGURED OUT HOW TO INSERT IMAGES!!!!!

**VroomVroom:** Do you think people working jobs they don’t like wonder if they are ever going to find a job that they will enjoy? Or one that they’ll even feel content in? Like maybe they were on the job for a little while and people say it’ll get better but will it really? Will it actually get better? Or will they just be stuck in this situation and slowly spiraling because they’re afraid if they leave this job that they’ve only been in for a short time they’ll ruin their chances of getting another job even though it just might not be for them?

**InsertMomJoke:** Zack, honey, do you want to talk? Or a hug?

* * *

**Vine:** Guys take this “What is your Spirit Animal” quiz

**Vine:** [Link]

**Vine:** I got Dalmation 

**VroomVroom:** Yooo I got Golden Retriever 

**HackerVoice:** Ivy 🤝 Zack

Getting dogs as spirit animals

**Vine:** Whatd you get

**HackerVoice:** I got a crow lol

**VroomVroom:** I can see it

**InsertMomJoke:** I got fox

**Vine:** JNjsfnkfjvnf

**Vine:** Even the quiz knows youre a thief

**InsertMomJoke:** L o o k

**Grandpa-san:** I got a clouded leopard

**InsertMomJoke:** Accurate 

* * *

**VroomVroom:** *picture of Carmen chopping onions, not crying*

**VroomVroom:** Our mom is so badass that she doesnt cry while cutting onions

**Vine:** Truly an icon

**HackerVoice:** Too powerful to be human

* * *

**Vine:** Can we talk about Carmen’s dad-tourist outfit in England

**Vine:** I mean look at this

**Vine:**

**VroomVroom:** Really embracing the Tourist-Dad energy here Mom

**InsertMomJoke:** Sometimes you gotta wear your Single Parent of Three identity while undercover to try and steal the Crown Jewels

**HackerVoice:** You lived your dream of being a tacky tourist Red

**InsertMomJoke:** I Absolutely Did

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Meme Time

**Vine:** YEAH

**VroomVroom:** Tigress: *breaths*

Ivy: MA CALL THE FUCKING COPS THE FUCKING CATS BACK

**HackerVoice:** Beautiful, adding it to the vine compilation 

**InsertMomJoke:** Please call me if you do see Tigress lol

**InsertMomJoke:** But good meme Zack 10/10

**Vine:** Im saying this next time I see Tigress

* * *

**VroomVroom:** IVY I CANT BELIEVE U ACTUALLY DID IT

**Vine:** Worth it

**HackerVoice:** She would have killed you if Red didn’t jump in

**Vine:** W o r t h I t

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** Stories about VILE Faculty Time

**HackerVoice:** Hell Yeah

**InsertMomJoke:** So Bellum was well known around school for getting into verbal fights with students if they had certain opinions on scientific subjects

**Grandpa-san:** Is this what I think it is

**InsertMomJoke:** Maybe, anyway

**InsertMomJoke:** And some students realized that they could use this to their advantage to have an easy class day

**VroomVroom:** Distraction Tactics 

**InsertMomJoke:** Like all of the Faculty are really good teachers in every sense of the word, but students are little shits and sometimes just didn’t want to work

**InsertMomJoke:** There were so many times but Imma talk about what Gray did

**Vine:** Oh this is going to be fun

**InsertMomJoke:** If you really wanted to have Bellum go off for a whole class period you only had to bring up one of two things; Pluto's planetary status and any conspiracy theory

**InsertMomJoke:** Sort of combining these Gray brought up the Moon Landing being fake

**VroomVroom:** You believe in the moon?

**InsertMomJoke:** I’ve never seen Bellum so pissed off

**InsertMomJoke:** I thought she was going to actually hit him and I was going to laugh

**InsertMomJoke:** She went off on him from stating science facts, calling him an idiot, to pulling up actual pictures on the Moon Landing

**InsertMomJoke:** Idk how he was still her favorite student. Luck of a Dumbass I guess

**HackerVoice:** I think I remember you telling me this

**InsertMomJoke:** Eventually Maelstrom came in like “What the hell is going on I can hear you from down the hall”

**InsertMomJoke:** Bellum yelled “SHUT UP GUNNAR I’M EDUCATING AN IDIOT” at him and nailed him in the forehead with a rubber band

**Vine:** oH mY gOd

**InsertMomJoke:** And parts of Bellum’s rant became VILE memes

**VroomVroom:** I love some good VILE memes

**InsertMomJoke:** “You goddamn idiot. You absolute buffoon.”

**InsertMomJoke:** “If the moon landing is fake I will actually sacrifice every last one of you”

**InsertMomJoke:** And my personal favorite “If you ever say anything as stupid as that again I will steal all the iron from your veins.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I just wanted to bring up the Tacky/Dad Tourist Energy Carmen had in that episode.


	22. What's In A Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get a chapter out before I died from a ten hour shift that has the possibility of me working with customers... I swear if it turns out that this week isn't pay week I'll actually scREAM

**InsertMomJoke:** Why are the cats dressed up as Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman?

**Grandpa-san:** They picked out their costumes at the pet store

**VroomVroom:** Understandable have a nice day

* * *

**HackerVoice:** What are we playing for game night tonight

**Vine:** Zack and I convinced Mom to play Cards Against Humanity

**HackerVoice:** This is going to be the best game night ever

* * *

**Grandpa-san:** Cards Against Humanity is now banned from game night

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Mom why didnt you tell me you were ambidextrous????

**Vine:** YOU ARE????

**InsertMomJoke:** Yeah??? I had to learn to steal equally well with both hands??? And fight???

**HackerVoice:** Witch

**InsertMomJoke:** Maybe

* * *

**Vine:** Atlantis: The Lost Empire

**Vine:** Discuss

**HackerVoice:** A quality movie

**InsertMomJoke:** Touched on how stealing artifacts affects the culture its stolen from 10/10

**VroomVroom:** All the characters were likeable

**Grandpa-san:** The animation was unique and nice

**Vine:** Glad we all have our priorities in line

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Hi my name is Jake from State Farm and I have a State Farm nametag that says "Jake" (that’s how I got my name) and brown eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Flo from Progressive (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Jake Long: American Dragon but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm an insurance salesman but my teeth are straight and white. I go to work at State Farm (I'm employee of the month) and I'm also a customer service employee (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear a State Farm uniform. For example today I was wearing a red shirt with buttons and a State Farm logo on my left titty, sexy brown khakis, and stilettos under the desk where my boss couldn’t see the breach of dress code. I was wearing a headset so I could talk with customers. It was snowing and raining out the window so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lady accused me of seducing her husband who just wanted some insurance. I put up my middle finger at them.

**Vine:** Turn On Your Location I Just Wanna Talk

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** Shadow-san wants me to tell you guys about the time I beat up a dude during Crime School 

**VroomVroom:** We very much wanna hear this yes

**Vine:** ^^^^^^^

**HackerVoice:** I love this story

**InsertMomJoke:** Ok despite Countess Cleo considering me a feral child, I had never actually gotten into a physical or verbal fight before

**Vine:** Feral Child

**InsertMomJoke:** But during my first year this dude was harassing another student in the cafeteria

**InsertMomJoke:** I was waiting for my friends when I noticed

**VroomVroom:** The VILE Squad

**InsertMomJoke:** And this dude’s body language was getting aggressive so I stepped in like “Dude chill, back off you’re causing a scene”

**InsertMomJoke:** And I don’t remember what exactly what we were arguing about

**InsertMomJoke:** I think the other student beat his score on a test or something idk

**InsertMomJoke:** But at some point I was between him and the other student and he was leaning over me cause I was like 16-17 at the time 

**InsertMomJoke:** And he said “what are you going to do about it, bitch?”

**InsertMomJoke:** So I throat punched him

**Vine:** YEAH GO MOM

**VroomVroom:** An Icon

**HackerVoice:** He deserved it 

**Grandpa-san:** Since Black Sheep had no prior offenses in fighting, she did not get in trouble 

**VroomVroom:** I wanna be like you when I grow up Mom

**InsertMomJoke:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a little short, but I promise the chapter after the next one will be worth it :)))


	23. Imma Do A Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall someone did fanart of the cats cuddling Carmen and I've never felt so?? accomplished?? in my life?? Please check out the art on my tumblr...it's my new homescreen now...
> 
> Someone also did memes for this story!!! And I love them so much!! Blesssssss.
> 
> Please go check both of them out on my tumblr.

**Vine:** Alright

**Vine:** Who showed Mom musicals?

**HackerVoice:** I showed her Hamilton but the rest she did by herself

**VroomVroom:** I showed her some Starkids musicals

**Vine:** Damn alright

**Vine:** I’m showing her Six

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** Okay guys this is getting out of hand

**InsertMomJokes:** Whoever keeps on putting Shrek and Nicolas Cage’s faces in random places needs to stop because one of them scared Emu and he fell off the counter

**VroomVroom:** Oh you havent found Obama yet

**InsertMomJoke:** There’s MORE???

* * *

**HackerVoice:** What How To Train Your Dragon dragon would you have GO

**InsertMomJoke:** Player you would have a small army of Night Terrors and Terrible Terrors because they’re smol like you and live in the dark

**HackerVoice:** You’re right and I love it but HEY

**Vine:** I wanna Rumblehorn cause I wanna snuggle the Big Soft Boi 

**VroomVroom:** Valid

**VroomVroom:** I want a Hobblegrunt because 1. They can change colors which is AWESOME and 2. They like have super senses cause the Wiki says they can sense emotions and imagine all the trouble we could avoid if we had a Good Boi who could do that

**InsertMomJoke:** That’s really wholesome

**HackerVoice:** Red you’d have a Nightfury because you can basically become invisible at night and are as elusive as them

**HackerVoice:** And you kind of have mild protagonist syndrome

**InsertMomJoke:** I-

* * *

**VroomVroom:** [ [Link] ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

**VroomVroom:** WIAT

**VroomVroom:** DONT CLICK ON THAT I MENAT TO SEND IT TO JUST IVY

**VroomVroom:** ITS NOTHING BAD BUT PLEASE NO-

* * *

**VroomVroom:** Mom what are we doing for Thanksgiving

**InsertMomJoke:** What do you guys want to do for Thanksgiving

**Vine:** Make a bunch of food, eat all the food, fall asleep watching a movie on the couch

**VroomVroom:** ^^^^^^

**InsertMomJoke:** Sounds like a plan lol

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** What do you guys want for Christmas?

**HackerVoice:** Mental stability

**Vine:** Financial security

**VroomVroom:** A nap would be nice

**InsertMomJoke:** I’m getting all of you socks

**VroomVroom:** waIT MOM NO-

**Vine:** Mom wait its November we still have time

**HackerVoice:** Now Red don’t be too hasty- 

* * *

**HackerVoice:** I was thinking about the stories Red told me about her school year and I felt that this meme captured the energy of that year

**HackerVoice:**

**InsertMomJoke:** gsrgtfbgsryjsghnhsytjsryjs

**InsertMomJoke:** Accurate

**Grandpa-san:** This is exactly what happened that year

**Vine:** Everytime Shadow-san says something with vague meme energy I have a heart attack

* * *

**HackerVoice:** Red, what would you do if I did a thing

**InsertMomJoke:** Depends, what’s the thing?

**InsertMomJoke:** Player

**InsertMomJoke:** Player, I’m getting concerned now please-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)))))))))
> 
> _I'mma do a thing._


	24. Kronk, Pull the Lever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a piercing to help with headaches and good news is that I haven't had a headache since.
> 
> Bad news is my ear is itchy and I can't itch it cause I can't really touch my piercing while it's healing unless it's to take care of it.

**_[HackerVoice added_ ** _ Julia  _ **_to_ ** _ The Red Fam _ **_]_ **

**Julia:** Who are you and how did you get my number?

**Vine:** :DDDD

**VroomVroom:** Moooooooooooooooom

**InsertMomJoke:** I-

**InsertMomJoke:** Hey Jules :^)

**Julia:** Carmen Sandiego?

**Julia:** I wasn’t aware you had children?

**VroomVroom:** We’re adopted

**Vine:** ^^^

**HackerVoice:** ^^^

**InsertMomJoke:** I love them as if they were my own though <3

**InsertMomJoke:** Welcome to the group chat Jules

**InsertMomJoke:** We trust you won’t tell ACME about it

**Julia:** You...still trust me? After Stockholm?

**InsertMomJoke:** Yeah? Why wouldn’t I? You didn’t cause me to almost die in the snow

**Julia:** I see...that means a lot to me, Miss Sandiego

**InsertMomJoke:** You can call me Carmen

* * *

**Vine:** Now that Julia is in the chat she needs a username

**VroomVroom:** Absolutely

**HackerVoice:** I have an idea

**[HackerVoice changed Julia to** ACMEbraincells **]**

**ACMEbraincells:** I mean

**ACMEbraincells:** You’re not wrong

**InsertMomJoke:** If I could make a slight adjustment, Player

**HackerVoice:** Be my guest, Red

**[InsertMomJoke changed ACMEbraincells to** TheBraincells **]**

**VroomVroom:** My brain appreciates this a lot more

**Vine:** Same

**TheBraincells:** I...actually like it

**InsertMomJoke:** Thanks I try

* * *

**HackerVoice:** I made another meme about Red

**HackerVoice:**

**InsertMomJoke:** Why do you call me out so

**HackerVoice:** Because I’m your best friend so it’s my right

**Vine:** And it’s true

**VroomVroom:** Remember the time you told us you almost tried to jump on a plane with your motorcycle while it was taking off

**TheBraincells:** I’m sorry she did WHAT

**InsertMomJoke:** I didn’t actually do it I swear

**InsertMomJoke:** You guys are ruining my reputation with the former ACME agent

**HackerVoice:** Julia, Red is probably everything you think of her and more

**Vine:** Probably

**InsertMomJoke:** You’re all grounded

**InsertMomJoke:** No meatloaf for you

**VroomVroom:** Wait Mom-

**Vine:** WAIT NO IM SORRY

**HackerVoice:** I have little regret

**InsertMomJoke:** No more pictures of the cats

**HackerVoice:** YOU H E A T H E N

**TheBraincells:** Wait, you guys have cats?

**TheBraincells:** ...can I see pictures?

**Vine:** OF COURSE

**InsertMomJoke:** *picture of Whiskers*

**InsertMomJoke:** *picture of Emu*

**InsertMomJoke:** *picture of Blanche* 

**InsertMomJoke:** *the cats in their superhero costumes*

**VroomVroom:** *picture of the cats cuddling a sleeping Carmen*

**InsertMomJoke:** That’s it, you’re grounded

**InsertMomJoke:** Get on top of the fridge

**VroomVroom:** This house is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** How’s your new job going, Jules?

**TheBraincells:** Much less stressful than my previous one

**TheBraincells:** No offence to any of you

**Vine:** None taken

**VroomVroom:** None taken

**HackerVoice:** None taken

**InsertMomJoke:** Well that's a good thing

**InsertMomJoke:** We miss you though

**VroomVroom:** Mom constantly brings up how “Jules would understand”

**InsertMomJoke:** You were the only one to guess my motives :(

**TheBraincells:** I-

**TheBraincells:** Thank you for telling me the truth 

**InsertMomJoke:** No problem :)

* * *

**Vine:** Julia I have a very important question 

**Vine:** Have you seen Buzzfeed Unsolved

**TheBraincells:** I have watched Ruining History but not Buzzfeed Unsolved

**Vine:** Player

**HackerVoice:** I’m sending all the links rn

**TheBraincells:** I would still like to know how you acquired my number

**InsertMomJoke:** Player is our hacker

**InsertMomJoke:** Any information he wants, he can get

**HackerVoice:** Only the best for you guys <3

**InsertMomJoke:** <3

**Vine:** <3

**VroomVroom:** <3

**Grandpa-san:** <3

**TheBraincells:** Wait, who are you-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So :)) What do you :)) guys think :)) 
> 
> I've been debating adding Julia for a while cause I think she could be a fun Slightly More Responsible Person in the chat and funny outsider commentary to Team Red's dumb texts.
> 
> Also someone to hear Carmen's extra antics and be like "exCUSE ME YOU W H A T"


	25. I am content with the energy we have created in the studio today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW y'all, last week was an emotional ride that is going to be interesting to come back from but let's see how that goes.
> 
> Finals are coming up, I'm going to die.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy~~~~

**InsertMomJoke:** Zack, what does Emu have?

**VroomVroom:** A knife!

**InsertMomJoke:** NO

* * *

**InsertMomJoke:** VILE Story Time

**Vine:** My favorite time after meme time! 

**TheBraincell:** I...what?

**HackerVoice:** VILE Story Time is Red talking about her time growing up in VILE

**VroomVroom:** Mostly stories about the Faculty

**InsertMomJoke:** So I was what Countess Cleo would call a “Feral Child” despite the fact that the worst thing I’ve done is throw water balloons like once a year

**TheBraincell:** You being a “Feral Child” is hard to believe

**Grandpa-san:** While Carmen has grown into a lovely young woman, it took many years of Countess Cleo’s “training” and escaping VILE for her to accomplish it

**InsertMomJoke:** This is about Countess Cleo’s training actually

**InsertMomJoke:** She use to have me train her dogs in hope that it would help me learn obedience 

**HackerVoice:** Did it work?

**InsertMomJoke:** More like...situational obedience I guess. I was only obedient in certain situations

**InsertMomJoke:** Anyway, I was still training them during my school year of VILE

**InsertMomJoke:** And Gray convinced me to teach them to bark whenever someone yells “The Power of Christ compels you” 

**VroomVroom:** A vine of quality

**InsertMomJoke:** Which I did do, because it was funny and I figured that it could just be a fun inside joke

**InsertMomJoke:** Until Bellum and Maelstrom were bickering about something and Bellum yelled “MAY THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOU, YOU DEMON”

**HackerVoice:** I want to know what they were arguing about now

**InsertMomJoke:** I’ll tell you later

**InsertMomJoke:** But the dogs heard that and they just started scream barking outside

**InsertMomJoke:** And when the students found out you KNOW that every time they saw the dogs they quoted that vine and made them bark until Countess Cleo made me train them to stop

**InsertMomJoke:** And to this very day I still blame Gray for it

**HackerVoice:** Understandable

**Vine:** Hey mom if we get a dog can you-

**InsertMomJoke:** We already have three cats we cannot get a dog

**VroomVroom:** …

**InsertMomJoke:** Say Sike Right Now Zack

**TheBraincell:** What is happening in this group chat

**Grandpa-san:** I ask myself that everyday

* * *

**Vine:** Zack turn the “How Many Day Since Carmen Got Hurt” number back to zero

**InsertMomJoke:** Wait no I was doing so good

**HackerVoice:** Sorry Red, Paper Star got you in the last fight :(

**VroomVroom:** At least it wasn’t you tripping on a sidewalk in Paris this time

**TheBraincell:** I’m sorry, what happened?

**Vine:** We were on a caper and Paper Star showed up

**Vine:** She likes to try and murder people with origami

**InsertMomJoke:** One of her origami stars caught my face and cut my cheek

**TheBraincell:** Just how sharp is her paper?

**HackerVoice:** I think she just learned how to use physics to make them more deadly

**InsertMomJoke:** Yeah pretty much

**TheBraincell:** I do hope you get that injury taken care of, Carmen

**VroomVroom:** Ivy is already forcing her to sit down to take care of it

**InsertMomJoke:** I’m fine

**TheBraincell:** That eases my nerves greatly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've hit a pretty big writer's block on this fic to beware if updating takes a while.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly this fic was inspired by The Flashdrive by MagicPencil2, check it out it made me laugh.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [How To Waste A Class Period (or: Gray has regrets)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27275284) by [Writing_Bearifficly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_Bearifficly/pseuds/Writing_Bearifficly)




End file.
